Subject: Money (Page 31)

I can make more generals, but horses cost money.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Animals Government Military Money

He died of cirrhosis of the liver… it costs money to die of cirrhosis of the liver.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Death Health Money

Anybody who thinks talk is cheap should get some legal advice.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Government Law Lawyers Money Opinion

About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is… the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Money People

Spare no expense to make everything as economical as possible.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Misspokements Money

I’m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Money

[Charles Dickens] was the bravest man who ever lived; he fathered ten children before they became tax deductions.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children Family Money Taxes

I want a man who’s kind and understanding; is that too much to ask of a millionaire?

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Men Money People Relationships Wealth

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Children Eating Food/Drink Money

My sister just got married; I was the maid of debt in that little event.

(1965 – ) American comedian
Marriage Money Relationships

You know, if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Money

Las Vegas is the oasis of outstretched palms.

English boxing journalist & commentator
Money Places Sports

I forgot how expensive this town is; checking into the hotel this morning, I literally had to give the bellhop $10 just for taking my tip.

American comedian & writer
Money

Jesus saves, Moses invests.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Money

Tradition is what you resort to when you don’t have the time or the money to do it right.

(1905 – 1988) Austrian-born American conductor
Money Situations Time

Debts: The certain outcome of an uncertain income.

Definitions Money

You might be a redneck if… your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Dogs Money People Rednecks Things

Authors want their names down in history; I want to keep the smoke coming out of the chimney.

(1918 – 2006) American writer
Money Success Work

I’m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

(1894 – 1962) American poet, painter, essayist, author & playwright
Life Money

Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

(1861 – 1950) American writer
Money Time

The best investment opportunities are encountered when you are broke.

Money Murphy’s Laws