Subject: Money (Page 31)

An injured friend of his was going to receive back pay radioactively.

Malaprops Money Time

It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Money Poverty

Money isn’t everything: usually it isn’t enough.

Money

The reason Jack Benny is looking so sad these days is that he’s not only losing a daughter – but losing a deduction too.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Frugal Money

I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Marriage Money

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

(1892 – 1976) oil industrialist (once world’s richest man)
Money Wealth

There was a time when a fool and his money were soon parted, but now it happens to everybody.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Fools Intelligence Money People

There are no "free lunches," but sometimes it costs more to collect money than to give away food.

Money Murphy’s Laws

The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist
Happiness Life Marriage People Poverty Wealth

Money brings some happiness; but after a certain point, it just brings more money.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter
Emotions Happiness Money

A man's respect for law and order exists in precise relationship to the size of his paycheck.

(1908 – 1972) American politician & civil rights leader
Money

It's only when the tide goes out that you discover who's been swimming naked.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Clothing Money

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Money Occupations People Work

Rich people bring a lawyer; Latinos and blacks bring their moms.

(1976 – ) comedian
Lawyers Money Mothers People

People who can least afford to pay rent, pay rent; people who can most afford to pay rent, build up equity.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Money Work

We were so poor a robber once broke into our house and we ended up robbing the robber.

American football player
Football Money Poverty Sports

You know you poor when you eatin’ breakfast food late; you fryin’ toast?… at nine o’clock at night?… with bacon?… you’re broke.

(1957 – 2008) American comedian & actor
Food/Drink Money Poverty

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Money

You can't get rich in politics unless you are a crook.


Government Money Politics Wealth

Money is not the most important thing in the world, love is… fortunately, I love money.

(1934 – ) comedian
Emotions Love Money