Subject: Money (Page 33)

1. Always hire a rich solicitor.

2. Never buy from a rich salesman.

Lawyers Money Murphy’s Laws Wealth

As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Money can’t buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Friends Money People Young

The first million is the hardest.

(1928 – 2019) American business magnate a&d financier
Money

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

(1936 – ) television talk show host
Entertainment Money People Television

Go where the money is.

Money Murphy’s Laws

You might be a redneck if… the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks Relationships

Some couples go over their budgets very carefully every month; others just go over them.


Money

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

(1918 – 2007) American humor writer
Government Money Taxes

I knew something was wrong with the economy when the shampoo girl at my salon closed on a six bedroom house.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Money Situations

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Money Work

Girls just want to have funds.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker
Girls Money

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Money

I bet whenever Trump has to make a decision, he asks himself, “What would a cartoon rich person do?”

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Money

It's a good idea to save your money; one day it might be worth something again!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Money

Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

(1903 – 1987 diplomat, playwright, journalist & politician
Emotions Happiness Money

All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Money TV/Movie Quotes Work

I got a $290 parking ticket today… my car only cost $240.

(1973 – ) American stand-up comedian
Autos Money Things

The Englishman who has lost his fortune is said to have died of a broken heart.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Emotions England Money People Places Wealth

They were living high on the cob.

Life Malaprops Money

There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Appearance Clothing Money Poverty