Subject: Money (Page 33)

I call our bathroom 'The Vault' because the door's always locked and whatever goes on in there costs a shitload of money.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money Places

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

Intelligence Money Stupidity Wealth

If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men Money People

Debts: The certain outcome of an uncertain income.

Definitions Money

The most popular labor saving device is still money.

(1949 – ) American beauty queen, businesswoman, actress & sportscaster
Money

It's better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

Health Money Murphy’s Laws Wealth

Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

(1903 – 1987 diplomat, playwright, journalist & politician
Emotions Happiness Money

I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Money

Dentist: A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Money

Money brings some happiness; but after a certain point, it just brings more money.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter
Emotions Happiness Money

Wouldn’t it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?

(1952 – ) comedian
Health Money

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need money the most, are the very ones who never have it.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Life Money People

Let the kids pay it – they still owe us rent and gas money.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Children Government Money

Stock Market: A popular game of chance in which moneyed speculators gamble with the nation’s economy, the object being to amass as much unearned income as possible before one’s fellow gamblers withdraw from the game and precipitate a nationwide depression.

Definitions Money

A wedding invitation is sent by people who have been saying, “Do we have to ask them?” to people whose first response is, “How much do you think we have to spend on them?”

(1938 – ) journalist, columnist (Miss Manners)
Money People

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Children Eating Food/Drink Money

He is so poor… he can't even pay attention.

Exaggerations Money Poverty

Fifty percent of America’s population spends less than ten dollars a month on romance; you know what we call these people? … Men.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Men Money People

I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

American basketball player
Basketball Money Sports

I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago…I shot my broker.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Conflict Killing Money

Auditors always reject any expense account with a bottom line divisible by five or ten.

Money Murphy’s Laws