Subject: Money (Page 34)

The probability of winning is inversely proportional to the amount of the wager.

Money Murphy’s Laws

A high paying rush job comes in only after you've committed to a low paying rush job.

Money Murphy’s Laws Work

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'whose?'

Money Wealth Work

The trouble with the profit system has always been that it was highly unprofitable to most people.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist
Money People

No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions – he had money, too.

(1925 – 2013) British prime minister & politician
Memory Money

Prison inmates are treated to cable TV, hot meals and a college education, while on the outside some people can only afford these things through a life of crime!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime Money

Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Emotions Money

We didn't actually overspend our budget; the allocation simply fell short of our expenditure.

Money

Any man who has $10,000 left when he dies is a failure.

(1909 – 1959) Australian-born American actor
Death Life Money

It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor, as long as you’ve got money.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Money

The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs.

Money Murphy’s Laws

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

(1907 – 1987) journalist & columnist
Money

I went to the cinema, and the prices were: Adults $5.00, children $2.50; so I said, “Give me two boys and a girl.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Children Entertainment Money

Brooklyn is the only place where a guy can open up a candy store sell no candy and gross over eight million dollars a year.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Money Places

If [an actor] says, 'But what's my motivation?… 'I say, 'Your salary.'

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Acting Entertainment Money

Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Money Taxes

The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time.

(1924 – 1997) Dutch-American artist
Money Poverty Time

Money often costs too much.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Money

I always invest in companies an idiot could run, because one day one will.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Money

Medical insurance is what allows people to be ill at ease!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Health Money

If my films don’t show a profit, I know I’m doing something right.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Entertainment Film Money