Subject: Money (Page 34)

The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money.

(1924 – 2004) American actor
Acting Hollywood Money Places

I saw a truck today. Side of the door it said, “Driver has no cash” … I’m broke, too – but I don’t plaster it all over the side of my car.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
Money Poverty

Money can’t buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Friends Money People Young

Spare no expense to make everything as economical as possible.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Misspokements Money

He (Lyndon Johnson) wanted to see poverty, so he came to see my team (1964 New York Mets).

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Misspokements Poverty Sports

Dentist: A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Money

Whenever you hear the word save, it is usually the beginning of an advertisement designed to make you spend money.

Communication Language Money

I had to recently move back home, because my mom was having trouble paying both our rents.

Actress & comedian
Money Situations

Being tired isn't the same as being rich, but most times it's close enough.

(1962 – ) writer & journalist
Money Situations Wealth

No woman can be too rich or too thin.

Duchess of Windsor (1896 – 1986) American socialite & wife of the Prince Edward, formerly King Edward VIII
Appearance People Wealth Women

Don King doesn't care about black or white. He just cares about green.

American boxing champion
Boxing Money Sports

I finally know what distinguishes man from the other beasts: financial worries.

(1864 – 1910) French author
Animals Money People

Mendoza: I am a brigand: I live by robbing the rich.

Tanner: I am a gentleman: I live by robbing the poor.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Money People

1. The probability of a cat eating its dinner has absolutely nothing to do with the price of the food placed before it. 2. The probability that a household pet will raise a fuss is directly proportional to the number and importance of your guests.

Animals Money Murphy’s Laws

I didn’t have sex at all, not a scrap til I was 67… and that was cause I had no small change for the window cleaner.

(1953 – 2016) British comedian, actress, singer & screenwriter
Money Sex

When two people meet to decide how to spend a third person's money, fraud will result.

Money Murphy’s Laws People

Debt means you had more fun than you were supposed to.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Money

Politicians who vote huge expenditures to alleviate problems get re-elected; those who propose structural changes to prevent problems get early retirement.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Politicians

I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Government Insults Law Lawyers Money

He was asked to throw out the first ball at a World Series game; but … he looked at the ball and, instead of throwing it, he put it in his pocket and sat down.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Activities Frugal Money Sports

If you want to be on the upper crust, you need to have a lot of dough.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Money