Subject: Money (Page 34)

Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind.

Men Money People Women

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Money People

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Money Work

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Marriage Money Speech

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Health Money Places

The first million is the hardest.

(1928 – 2019) American business magnate a&d financier
Money

Everything takes more time and money.

Life Money Murphy’s Laws Time

Money is like manure; it’s not worth a thing unless it’s spread around encouraging young things to grow.

(1897 – 1975) American author & playwright
Money

Sex is like money; only too much is enough.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Money Sex

When it comes to giving—some people stop at nothing.

Characteristics Money People

People try to live within their income so they can afford to pay taxes to a government that can't live within its income.

businessman
Government Money Taxes

We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Poverty Self

A triumph for democracy; it proves that a millionaire has just as good a chance as anybody else.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Elections/Voting Government Money

Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Emotions Happiness Love Marriage Money Wealth

Today, I bought a pastrami sandwich: $13.75; walked back out in the street – genuine Rolex watch: six bucks.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Money New York City Places

Talk is cheap – except when Congress does it.

(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer
Communication Congress Frugal Government Money Speech

Nobody's ever offered me money to have sex… sure – a Bud Light and a basket of curly fries, but not cash.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Money Sex

He’s so chincy, he can call his every dollar by its first name.

Frugal Miscellaneous Money

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Animals Money

Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Money Situations

He once gave Gracie a coupon for a year’s subscription to a magazine as a gift – and all she had to do was fill it out and send it in with a check.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Frugal Money