Subject: Money (Page 35)

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need money the most, are the very ones who never have it.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Life Money People

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

Beliefs Money People

Markets can remain irrational a lot longer than you and I can remain solvent.

American financial analyst & commentator
Money

The more heavily a man is supposed to be taxed, the more power he has to escape being taxed.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

If the Lord had more respect for money, He would have given it to a higher class of people.

(1928 – 2014) American actor
Money TV/Movie Quotes

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

(1936 – ) television talk show host
Entertainment Money People Television

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

(1869 – 1944) Canadian economist & humorist
Intelligence Money

If [an actor] says, 'But what's my motivation?… 'I say, 'Your salary.'

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Acting Entertainment Money

Even if you gave him poison he wouldn't die until he'd recovered the deposit on the bottle.

Frugal Money

He (Lyndon Johnson) wanted to see poverty, so he came to see my team (1964 New York Mets).

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Misspokements Poverty Sports

My mom bought cookies… and they were never the good cookies; it was always the pack of 1000 that said: 'Cookies.'

comedian
Food/Drink Money Poverty

It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Places Politics

He who hesitates is poor.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Money Poverty Time

It takes money to make money because you have to copy the design exactly.

comedian
Money

A consultant is someone who, when hired to find out what time it is, borrows your watch to find out.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Keep up with the Grabowskis… you'll never make enough to keep up with the Joneses.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Tradition is what you resort to when you don’t have the time or the money to do it right.

(1905 – 1988) Austrian-born American conductor
Money Situations Time

There is no conceivable amount of money worth telling the world that you were beaten up by Liza Minnelli.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Money Situations

Whenever he saw a dollar in another man's hands he took it as a personal grudge, if he couldn't take it any other way.

William Sydney Porter (1862 – 1910) American writer
Money

Prison inmates are treated to cable TV, hot meals and a college education, while on the outside some people can only afford these things through a life of crime!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime Money

Committee reports dealing with wages, salaries, fringe benefits, facilities, computers, employee parking, libraries, coffee breaks, secretarial support, etc., always call for dramatic expenditure increases.

Money Murphy’s Laws