Subject: Money (Page 36)

I finally know what distinguishes man from the other beasts: financial worries.

(1864 – 1910) French author
Animals Money People

Money isn’t everything as long as you have enough.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Money can’t buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Friends Money People Young

Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Emotions Happiness Money

An injured friend of his was going to receive back pay radioactively.

Malaprops Money Time

A hotel mini-bar allows you to see into the future and what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2020.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Food/Drink Future Money Time

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Emotions Happiness Money

The happiest time in a man's life is when he is in the red hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Money

1. Always hire a rich solicitor.

2. Never buy from a rich salesman.

Lawyers Money Murphy’s Laws Wealth

Lethargy bordering on sloth remains the cornerstone of our investment style.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Money

We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Poverty Self

[Charles Dickens] was the bravest man who ever lived; he fathered ten children before they became tax deductions.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children Family Money Taxes

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Money

No gold-digging for me… I take diamonds!

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Money Situations

I was so poor growing up if I wasn’t a boy, I’d have had nothing to play with.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Poverty