Subject: Money (Page 4)

You might be a redneck if… you think the stock market has fence around it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

(1934 – ) comedian
Money Poverty

Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Money

Money often costs too much.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Money

Dime: A dollar with all the taxes taken out.

Definitions Money

(Starbucks) doesn't have a slogan yet, so I thought of one for them: “It's really expensive, but the line is long.”

comedian & author
Money

Bankruptcy: A fate worse than debt.

Definitions Money

Prison inmates are treated to cable TV, hot meals and a college education, while on the outside some people can only afford these things through a life of crime!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime Money

It ain't no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Money Poverty

Money doesn’t buy happiness; but happiness isn’t everything.

(1938 – 1979) American actress
Emotions Happiness Money

What I'm saying is we were poor, people; I mean, blues singers would show up at our house when they had writer's block – that's how poor we were.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Money Poverty

There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is enjoy earning it.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Husbands Marriage Money Wives

Death is a wonderful way of cutting down on your expenses.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death Money

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Husbands Marriage Money

An injured friend of his was going to receive back pay radioactively.

Malaprops Money Time

Having your lawyer pay for lunch will be very expensive in the end.

Lawyers Money

I went to counseling, spent $5,000 to have two women call me a loser.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Characteristics Money Situations

It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins.

Children Money Proverbs Sex

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Money Occupations Time Work

Today, too many workers spend their time trying to make their weekends meet.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Money Time

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Health Intelligence Situations Sleep Wealth