Subject: Money (Page 4)

I went to the cinema, and the prices were: Adults $5.00, children $2.50; so I said, “Give me two boys and a girl.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Children Entertainment Money

Upper Crust: People stuck together by their dough.

Definitions Money People

I live in a two-income household… but who knows how long my mom can keep that up.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Family Money Mothers Travel Work

If you think that education is expensive, try ignorance.

(1930 – ) American lawyer & educator
Education Intelligence Money

When a man says money can do anything… he hasn't got any.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Money

People who can least afford to pay rent, pay rent; people who can most afford to pay rent, build up equity.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Depression: A period during which we have to get along without the things our grandparents never dreamed of.

Definitions Money Past Time

The dime hasn’t been minted that could march past Jack Benny.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Frugal Money

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.

(1920 – 2000) American actor
Death Doctors Health Money

I hate nickels; they’re quarter impersonators.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Money

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

Beliefs Money People

Death is a wonderful way of cutting down on your expenses.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death Money

Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Money

Rich men without convictions are more dangerous in modern society than poor women without chastity.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Beliefs Money People Wealth

If a taxpayer thinks he can cheat safely, he probably will.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.

(1977 – ) Irish actress, producer & writer
Emotions Love Money

I bet whenever Trump has to make a decision, he asks himself, “What would a cartoon rich person do?”

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Money

The price of any product produced for a government agency will be not less than the square of the initial Firm Fixed-Price Contract.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws

They live in a beautiful apartment overlooking their rent.

Money Situations Things

As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.

Money Murphy’s Laws

All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Money