Subject: Money (Page 5)

There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

(1900 – 1967) American film actor
Clothing Money Poverty

In the business world, the rearview mirror is always clearer than the windshield.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Money

Money is not the most important thing in the world, love is… fortunately, I love money.

(1934 – ) comedian
Emotions Love Money

I saw a truck today. Side of the door it said, “Driver has no cash” … I’m broke, too – but I don’t plaster it all over the side of my car.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
Money Poverty

Prison inmates are treated to cable TV, hot meals and a college education, while on the outside some people can only afford these things through a life of crime!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime Money

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we'd all be millionaires.

(1918 – ) American advice columnist
Money Wealth

Some couples go over their budgets very carefully every month; others just go over them.


Money

At the funeral, everyone said, 'What a shame, he died penniless;' I don't know — to me that sounds like perfect timing on a hell of a budget.

American comedian
Death Money Poverty

I came from a dirt farm, now I'm filthy rich.

American boxing champion
Boxing Money Sports

There is no stronger craving in the world than that of the rich for titles, except that of the titled for riches.

(1887 – 1964) British actor, writer & theater director
Money Wealth

I got an E-Trade account… turns out I can turn $1,000 into $420 in less than a week.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Money

People who say that money can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Emotions Happiness Money People Shopping

Telephone psychics are better at making fortunes than at reading them.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Money People

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Money Things

There is nothing so habit-forming as money.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Money

Why is it, “A penny for your thoughts,” but, “You have to put your two cents in?” … somebody’s making a penny.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Money

It's only when the tide goes out that you discover who's been swimming naked.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Clothing Money

Find out the cost before you get in.

Money Murphy’s Laws

You've no idea what it costs to keep the old man in poverty.

(1900 – 1979) British statesman & naval officer
Money People Poverty

He’s too stingy to give you the time of day.

Expressions Frugal Money

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, “Cough!”

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Doctors Health Money