Subject: Money (Page 6)

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Computers Money People Things

A set of rules laid out by professionals to show the way they would like to act if it was profitable.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Characteristics Money

Expenditure rises to meet income.

Money Murphy’s Laws

The only people making money these days are the ones who sell computer paper.

Computers Money Murphy’s Laws Things

You might be a redneck if… you own a Waffle House credit card.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks

She took my son to Costco, bought 14 pounds of Oreos – and saved us money somehow.

American stand-up comedian
Marriage Money Shopping Wives

Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald.”

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance Characteristics Men People Wealth

You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap!

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance Body Clothing Money

People will swim through shit if you put a few bob in it.

(1925 – 1980) British comedian & actor
Money

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Money

Any renovation project on an old house will cost twice as much and take three times as long as originally estimated.

Money Murphy’s Laws Time

Deficit: What you have when you don’t have as much as if you had nothing.

Definitions Money

Change of fashion is the tax levied by the industry of the poor on the vanity of the rich.

(1741 – 1794) French writer
Appearance Money

Money can't buy everything… but then again, neither can no money.

Money

I read recently that women still make 30% less than men in the workplace, which I think is fine, cause if we didn’t make 30% more, you guys would marry each other.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Marriage Money People Women

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Children Family Money People

You know the economy is bad when illegals start complaining that Americans are taking their jobs.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Government Money

The Yankees don’t pay me to win every day, just two out of three.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Money Sports

No gold-digging for me… I take diamonds!

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Money Situations

Money is what you’d get on beautifully without if only other people weren’t so crazy about it.

Money

If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Appearance Body Money