Subject: Money (Page 6)

The compromise will always be more expensive than either of the suggestions it is compromising.

Money Murphy’s Laws

I went to the cinema, and the prices were: Adults $5.00, children $2.50; so I said, “Give me two boys and a girl.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Children Entertainment Money

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is enjoy earning it.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Husbands Marriage Money Wives

I made my money the old fashioned way; I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died.

(1919 – 1990) publisher & author
Money

People who say that money can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Emotions Happiness Money People Shopping

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

(1892 – 1976) oil industrialist (once world’s richest man)
Money Wealth

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Emotions Happiness Money

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Activities Games Money

When I was 14, he sat me down, said, 'Larry, someday you're gonna meet a girl who's gonna be so right and so wonderful and so perfect that you're not even gonna haggle over price.'

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian
Money Sex

You might be a redneck if… your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Dogs Money People Rednecks Things

One man's wage rise is another man's price increase.

(1916 – 1995) British politician & prime minister
Money

In matters of dispute, the bank's balance is always smaller than yours.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, & over these ideals they dispute & cannot unite — but they all worship money.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Money

The girl who marries for money may find herself in debt for life.

writer
Marriage Money

I read recently that women still make 30% less than men in the workplace, which I think is fine, cause if we didn’t make 30% more, you guys would marry each other.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Marriage Money People Women

Whatever goes us, stays up.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

Met a girl the other nite and told her-– “Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself… so does $200 seem reasonable?”

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & television ho
Money Situations

A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Money Things

Our rabbi is so poor that if he didn’t fast every Monday and Thursday, he’d starve to death.

Eating Food/Drink Money Poverty

Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Money Situations