Subject: Money (Page 6)

What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn’t understand math.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Emotions Love Money People Women

Retirement means twice as much husband on half as much money.

Marriage Money Wives Work

An injured friend of his was going to receive back pay radioactively.

Malaprops Money Time

When the last great scorer comes to mark against your name, it’s not whether you won or lost, but how many paid to see the game.

baseball executive
Money Sports

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of.

(1775 – 1817) English novelist
Emotions Happiness Money

It's not hard to tell we was poor—when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline.

(1928 – 2012) American comedian & actor
Money People Poverty Self

It isn’t enough for you to love money… it’s also necessary that money should love you.

(1840 – 1915) British banker & politician
Money

When you're poor, your Halloween costume is a liquor store box.

(1961 – ) American actor & comedian
Money Poverty

I used to sell furniture for a living… the trouble was, it was my own.

(1931 – 1993) English comedian
Money Poverty Situations

Anyone who has ever struggled with poverty knows how extremely expensive it is to be poor.

(1924 – 1987) American novelist, writer, playwright, poet & civil rights activist
Money Poverty

Untold Wealth: That which does not appear on income tax returns.

Definitions Government Money Taxes

Alimony is a system by which, when two people make a mistake, one of them continues to pay for it.

(1893 – 1957) American actress & celebrity
Marriage Mistakes Money

A rich man is one who isn’t afraid to ask the salesperson to show him something cheaper.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host
Money

There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Appearance Clothing Money Poverty

In spite of the cost of living, it’s still popular.

(1880 – 1966) American novelist
Life Money

It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor, as long as you’ve got money.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Money

Poverty is the step-mother of genius.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Intelligence Money

The chief problem with lower income farmers is poverty.

(1908 – 1979) U.S. vice president & governor (New York)
Misspokements Money

You know, if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Money

Money enables a man to get along without an education, and education enables him to get along without money.

writer
Education Money

My father looked at the check and then told the scout, 'Throw in another hundred and you can take the rest of the family.'

baseball player
Baseball Money Sports