Subject: Money (Page 7)

Associate with well-mannered persons and your manners will improve; run with decent folk and your own decent instincts will be strengthened; keep the company of bums and you will become a bum; hang around with rich people and you will end by picking up the check and dying broke.

Characteristics Money Murphy’s Laws People

There is nothing so disastrous as a rational investment policy in an irrational world.

(1883 – 1946) English economist
Money

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Accidents Money Poverty

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Money Science/Weather

The dime hasn’t been minted that could march past Jack Benny.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Frugal Money

Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Emotions Happiness Love Marriage Money Wealth

Nobody ever said that capitalism guarantees profit.

(1947 – ) American economist
Government Money

You know, if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Money

Go where the money is.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Unless the results are known in advance, funding agencies will reject the proposal.

Money Murphy’s Laws

In this country you’re guilty until proven wealthy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
America Government Law Money Wealth

Low Wages Said Key To Poverty

Headlines Money

No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich.

Animals Dogs Money Wealth

College is great; it’s the only time in life where you can write a check for 39 cents… and bounce it.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Education Money Poverty

A homeless guy asked me for 2 pounds, so I gave him 1.67 because that’s what a woman would get paid for doing the same job.

British comedian
Men Money People Women Work

I can make more generals, but horses cost money.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Animals Government Military Money

If John Kerry had a dollar for every time he bragged about serving in Vietnam… oh wait, he does!

(1961 – ) American lawyer, political commentator, author & syndicated columnist
Money

President Bush wants to spend $7 billion this year to fight the drug dealers in Colombia… but they only earn $3 billion a year; so why don't we pay them $4 billion a year not to grow the cocaine?

American comedian & writer
Drugs Money Places

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need money the most, are the very ones who never have it.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Life Money People

Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the National Debt.

(1929 – 1933) 31st U.S. president, humanitarian
Age Government Money Young

No matter what stage of completion one reaches in a North Sea (oil) field, the cost of the remainder of the project remains the same.

Money Murphy’s Laws