Subject: Murphy’s Laws

Murphy’s Laws:

Various “laws,” axioms, principles and observations that usually convey a cynical view of life and an underlying sense of futility. Most do not prove, or even explain anything, but rather simply state a maxim – usually that things will go wrong.

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If you are short of everything except enemy, you are in combat.

Conflict Military Murphy’s Laws War

When two people meet to decide how to spend a third person's money, fraud will result.

Money Murphy’s Laws People

Super-competence is more objectionable than incompetence.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Problems

A pair of scissors should be a true pair; the second pair is to be used in place of the pair that is never where it is always supposed to be.

Murphy’s Laws Things

The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to… to…

Intelligence Memory Murphy’s Laws

Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average drivers.

Beliefs Driving Murphy’s Laws Opinion People

The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility, and vice versa.

Murphy’s Laws

If there are two possible ways to spell a person’s name, you will pick the wrong spelling.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind.

Murphy’s Laws

You never catch on until after the test.

Education Murphy’s Laws School Understanding

The crucial memorandum will be snared in the out-basket by the paper clip of the overlying correspondence and go to file.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

A bus will arrive only when the would-be rider has walked to a point so close to the destination that it is no longer worthwhile to board the bus.

Murphy’s Laws

It's better to retire too soon than too late.

Murphy’s Laws Time

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws Opinion

The compromise will always be more expensive than either of the suggestions it is compromising.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Only after locking your toolbox/shed at the end of a DIY job do you find another tool to return to your toolbox/shed.

Murphy’s Laws Things Time

There’s an unseen force which lets birds know when you’ve just washed your car.

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Autos Murphy’s Laws Things

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Wordplay

The spirit of public service will rise, and the bureaucracy will multiply itself much faster, in time of grave national concern.

Government Murphy’s Laws

To err is human – to blame it on someone else is even more human.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.

Murphy’s Laws Work