Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 10)

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Absolutum obsoletum – if it works, it’s out of date.

(1926 – 2002) British management theorist & professor
Murphy’s Laws Time

The number of women a man find attractive is truly proportionate to his age.

Age Men Murphy’s Laws People Women

You can't win; You can't break even; You can't quit.

Murphy’s Laws

The stomach expands to accommodate the amount of junk food available.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Everything I like is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

(1887 – 1943) theater critic & commentator
Murphy’s Laws

In any dealings with a collective body of people, the people will always be more tacky than originally expected.

Murphy’s Laws People

If you take your boots off, you'll never get them back on again.

Murphy’s Laws

A valuable dropped item will always fall into an inaccessible place (a diamond ring down the drain, for example) – or into the garbage disposal while it is running.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Everything put together sooner or later falls apart.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

Digestion is the great secret of life.

Life Murphy’s Laws

1. If you can only do one thing well there is no market for it.

2. You can never do just one thing.

Murphy’s Laws

To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.

Murphy’s Laws

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.

Murphy’s Laws Signs

Some is good, more is better, too much is just right.

America Murphy’s Laws Things

Things always go from bad to worse.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from nonpractitioners.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

A manager cannot tell if he is leading an innovative mob or being chased by it.

Murphy’s Laws Situations

Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.

Murphy’s Laws

Given a conflict, Murphy’s Law supersedes Newton’s.

Murphy’s Laws

If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

Murphy’s Laws

A martyr is a hero who didn't make it.

Murphy’s Laws