Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 14)

Scientists who dislike the restraints of highly organized research like to remark that a truly great research worker needs only three pieces of equipment – a pencil, a piece of paper, and a brain… but they quote this maxim more often at academic banquets than at budget hearings.

Price's Law of Science

Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Budgets Scientists

Friendly fire — isn't.

Murphy's Second Military Law

Military Murphy’s Laws Friendly fire

He who laughs last probably didn’t get the joke.

Boehm's 1st Law of Assistance

Emotions Laughter Murphy’s Laws Jokes

Winners tell funny stories; losers holler "Deal!"

Beach's Postulate

Murphy’s Laws People Losers Winners

Money isn’t everything as long as you have enough.

Forbes's Law

Money Murphy’s Laws

If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person – they will find an easier way to do it.

Hlade's Law

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Work Laziness Tasks

The spirit of public service will rise, and the bureaucracy will multiply itself much faster, in time of grave national concern.

Branch's First Law of Crisis

Government Murphy’s Laws Bureaucracy Crisis

If you hit two keys on the typewriter, the one you don't want hits the paper.

DeVries's Dilemma

Murphy’s Laws Typewriters

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

Baker's Byword

Age Murphy’s Laws Old Speed

Office machines that function perfectly during normal business hours will break down when you return at night to use them for personal business.

Second Law of Office Murphology

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Things Office machines

An object will fall so as to do the most damage.

Selective Gravity Law

Murphy’s Laws Things Damage

If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

Murphy's First Law for Wives

Husbands Murphy’s Laws Shopping Wives

When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.

Ground Rule For Laboratory Workers

Murphy’s Laws Work Neatness

1. If it is green or it wiggles – it is Biology.
2. If it stinks – it is Chemistry.
3. If it doesn’t work – it is Physics.

Young's Handy Guide to the Modern Sciences

Murphy’s Laws Problems Science/Weather Biology Chemistry Physics

1. Important mail arrives late. 2. Junk mail arrives the day it was sent.

Laws of Postal Delivery

Murphy’s Laws Time Mail

1. Anyone else who can be blamed should be blamed.
2. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong faster with computers.
3. Whenever a computer can be blamed, it should be blamed.

Parallels To Murphy's Law

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems Blame

Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book.

Loftus's Fifth Law of Management

Murphy’s Laws People Management The book

If you do a job twice, it’s yours.

Shanebrook’s Law

Murphy’s Laws Work J. Richard Shanebrook

In a bureaucratic hierarchy, the higher up the organization the less people appreciate Murphy's Law.

Rogers's Observation

Murphy’s Laws Bureaucracy Hierarchy

Never let your studies interfere with your education.

Rodney's Rule

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws School

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 14)

It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

Scientists who dislike the restraints of highly organized research like to remark that a truly great research worker needs only three pieces of equipment – a pencil, a piece of paper, and a brain… but they quote this maxim more often at academic banquets than at budget hearings.

Friendly fire — isn't.

He who laughs last probably didn’t get the joke.

Winners tell funny stories; losers holler "Deal!"

Money isn’t everything as long as you have enough.

If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person – they will find an easier way to do it.

The spirit of public service will rise, and the bureaucracy will multiply itself much faster, in time of grave national concern.

If you hit two keys on the typewriter, the one you don't want hits the paper.

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

Office machines that function perfectly during normal business hours will break down when you return at night to use them for personal business.

An object will fall so as to do the most damage.

If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.

1. If it is green or it wiggles – it is Biology.
2. If it stinks – it is Chemistry.
3. If it doesn’t work – it is Physics.

1. Important mail arrives late. 2. Junk mail arrives the day it was sent.

1. Anyone else who can be blamed should be blamed.
2. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong faster with computers.
3. Whenever a computer can be blamed, it should be blamed.

Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book.

If you do a job twice, it’s yours.

In a bureaucratic hierarchy, the higher up the organization the less people appreciate Murphy's Law.

Never let your studies interfere with your education.