Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 15)

1. Giving away baby clothes and furniture is a major cause of pregnancy. 2. Always be backlit. 3. Sit down whenever possible.

Alden’s Laws

Murphy’s Laws Nancy Alden Pregnancy

Consistency is always easier to defend than correctness.

Air Force Inertia Axiom

Murphy’s Laws Consistency

Push something hard enough and it will fall over.

Fudd's First Law of Opposition

Murphy’s Laws Things Falling Push

Committee reports dealing with wages, salaries, fringe benefits, facilities, computers, employee parking, libraries, coffee breaks, secretarial support, etc., always call for dramatic expenditure increases.

Martin's Exclusion (to Martin's Law of Committees)

Money Murphy’s Laws Committees

If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

Murphy's Sixth Law

Murphy’s Laws Problems

If a taxpayer thinks he can cheat safely, he probably will.

Diogenes's Second Dictum

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes Cheating

The length of a progress report is inversely proportional to the amount of progress.

Sweeney's Law

Murphy’s Laws Progress reports

No matter which book you need, it's on the bottom shelf.

London's Law of Libraries

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing Libraries Trouble

In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty.

Imbesi's Law of the Conservation of Filth

Murphy’s Laws Clean Dirty

The lead in a pencil will break in direct proportion to the importance of the notes being taken.

First Law of Business Meetings

Murphy’s Laws Notes Pencils

The crucial memorandum will be snared in the out-basket by the paper clip of the overlying correspondence and go to file.

Boyle’s Ninth Law

Communication Murphy’s Laws Memorandums

Everyone who does not work has a scheme that does.

Munder's Corollary

Murphy’s Laws Work Schemes

As soon as the stewardess serves the coffee, the airliner encounters turbulence.
Davis's Explanation of Roger's Law: Serving coffee on aircraft causes turbulence.

Roger's Law

Murphy’s Laws Travel Airlines

Leftover nuts never match leftover bolts.

Third Workshop Principle

Murphy’s Laws Nuts and bolts

An inexorable upward movement leads administrators to higher salaries and narrower spans of control.

Riesman's Law

Money Murphy’s Laws Administrators Bureaucracy Salaries

The Course of Progress: Most things get steadily worse.
The Path of Progress: A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.

Issawi's Laws of Progress

Murphy’s Laws Problems Worse

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.

A Murphy's Military Law

Characteristics Military Murphy’s Laws Bravery Foxholes

History does not repeat itself; historians simply repeat each other.

History Murphy’s Laws Time Historians Otto Bettman

Those most opposed to serving on committees are made chairmen.

Third Law of Committo-Dynamics

Murphy’s Laws Chairmen Committees

1. If you like it, they don't have it in your size. 2. If you like it and its in your size, it doesn't fit anyway. 3. If you like it and it fits, you can't afford it. 4. If you like it, it fits, and you can afford it, it falls apart the first time you wash it.

Hadley's Laws of Clothing Shopping

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shopping

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 15)

Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

1. Giving away baby clothes and furniture is a major cause of pregnancy. 2. Always be backlit. 3. Sit down whenever possible.

Consistency is always easier to defend than correctness.

Push something hard enough and it will fall over.

Committee reports dealing with wages, salaries, fringe benefits, facilities, computers, employee parking, libraries, coffee breaks, secretarial support, etc., always call for dramatic expenditure increases.

If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

If a taxpayer thinks he can cheat safely, he probably will.

The length of a progress report is inversely proportional to the amount of progress.

No matter which book you need, it's on the bottom shelf.

In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty.

The lead in a pencil will break in direct proportion to the importance of the notes being taken.

The crucial memorandum will be snared in the out-basket by the paper clip of the overlying correspondence and go to file.

Everyone who does not work has a scheme that does.

As soon as the stewardess serves the coffee, the airliner encounters turbulence.
Davis's Explanation of Roger's Law: Serving coffee on aircraft causes turbulence.

Leftover nuts never match leftover bolts.

An inexorable upward movement leads administrators to higher salaries and narrower spans of control.

The Course of Progress: Most things get steadily worse.
The Path of Progress: A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.

History does not repeat itself; historians simply repeat each other.

Those most opposed to serving on committees are made chairmen.

1. If you like it, they don't have it in your size. 2. If you like it and its in your size, it doesn't fit anyway. 3. If you like it and it fits, you can't afford it. 4. If you like it, it fits, and you can afford it, it falls apart the first time you wash it.