Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 2)

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Committee reports dealing with wages, salaries, fringe benefits, facilities, computers, employee parking, libraries, coffee breaks, secretarial support, etc., always call for dramatic expenditure increases.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Things go right so they can go wrong.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

When our friends get into power, they aren’t our friends any more.

Age Characteristics Friends Murphy’s Laws Situations

If the first person who answers the phone cannot answer your question, it's a bureaucracy.

Murphy’s Laws

The degree of failure is in direct proportion to the effort expended and to the need for success.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

1. Important mail arrives late. 2. Junk mail arrives the day it was sent.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Any tool when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop.

Murphy’s Laws Places Things

The probability of arriving at the job site without a needed tool or with the wrong hardware are directly proportional with the square of the travel distance.
Corollary: You will always have what you need when the job is next to your shop.

Murphy’s Laws Things Work

The only new show worth watching will be cancelled.

Entertainment Murphy’s Laws Television

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Activities Murphy’s Laws Shopping

He who laughs last probably didn’t get the joke.

Emotions Laughter Murphy’s Laws

1. That which has not yet been taught directly can never be taught directly 2. If at first you don’t succeed, you will never succeed.

Education Murphy’s Laws Success

When you need to knock on wood is when you realize that the world is composed of vinyl, naugahyde and aluminum.

Murphy’s Laws

Nothing is so simple it cannot be misunderstood.

Murphy’s Laws

It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

Fuses never blow during daylight hours.
Corollary: Only after fuses blow do you discover the flashlight batteries are dead and you’re out of candles, or matches, or both.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Spend sufficient time in confirming the need and the need will disappear.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Every organization has an allotted number of positions to be filled by incompetents.

Murphy’s Laws People

The best shots happen immediately after the last frame is exposed.

Murphy’s Laws

As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains

Food/Drink Military Murphy’s Laws