Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 24)

View All Murphys Laws

If you knew what you were doing you'd probably be bored.

Murphy’s Laws

Once the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Last year's was always better.

Murphy’s Laws

The life expectancy of a house plant varies inversely with its price and directly with its ugliness.

Appearance Murphy’s Laws Ugly

Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Time

The splendor of an editor's speech and the splendor of his newspaper are inversely related to the distance between the city in which he makes his speech and the city in which he publishes his paper.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Places Reading/Writing Speech

1. Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.
2. Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.
3. Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the others.
4. When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
5. Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular – it's what everyone is waiting for.

Murphy’s Laws

Any attempt to print Murphy's laws will jam the printer.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

1. Other people’s tools work only in other people’s yards. 2. Fancy gizmos don’t work. 3. If nobody uses it, there’s a reason. 4. You get the most of what you need the least.

Murphy’s Laws

When our friends get into power, they aren’t our friends any more.

Age Characteristics Friends Murphy’s Laws Situations

Don’t ever be the first, don’t ever be the last and don’t ever volunteer to do anything.

Military Murphy’s Laws

When things go wrong, don’t go with them.

Murphy’s Laws

It's better to retire too soon than too late.

Murphy’s Laws Time

What this world needs is a damned good plague.

Murphy’s Laws World

Whatever goes us, stays up.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

If you put a spoonful of wine in a barrel full of sewage, you get sewage. If you put a spoonful of sewage in a barrel full of wine, you get sewage.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

If it is worth fighting for, it is worth fighting dirty for.

Conflict Fights Murphy’s Laws

The time it takes to rectify a situation is inversely proportional to the time it took to do the damage.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

When all else fails, follow instructions.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some ordinance under which you can be booked.

Government Law Murphy’s Laws

Any member introducing a dog into the Society’s premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat.

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Animals Cats Dogs Murphy’s Laws