Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 29)

(1909 – 2001) editorial cartoonist & author

Murphy’s Laws Things Herblock’s Law Production

When you wear new shoes for the first time, everyone will step on them.

Anonymous Murphy’s Law

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shoes

Actually, it only seems as though you mustn't be deceived by appearances.

The Obvious Law

Appearance Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

While the difficulties and dangers of problems tend to increase at a geometric rate, the knowledge and manpower qualified to deal with these problems tend to increase linearly.

Dror's First Law

Murphy’s Laws Problems Science/Weather Difficulties Increasing rate

There's no special reason; it's just government policy.

Neville's Conclusion

Government Murphy’s Laws Policy

If you don't care where you are, you ain't lost.

Rune's Rule

Murphy’s Laws Places Situations Being lost

The length of any meeting is inversely proportional to the length of the agenda for that meeting.

McLaughlin's Law (see Parson's Third Law)

Murphy’s Laws Time Meetings

It is a mistake to let any mechanical object realize that you are in a hurry.

Ralph's Observation

Murphy’s Laws Things Time Hurry Objects

A place you want to get to is always just off the edge of the map you happen to have handy.

Parson's Second Law

Murphy’s Laws Things Maps

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Martin-Berthelot Principle

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech Bureaucracy Committees

When you're not in a hurry, the traffic light will turn green as soon as your vehicle comes to a complete stop.

McKee's Law

Autos Murphy’s Laws traffic lights

If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

Murphy's Sixth Military Law

Military Murphy’s Laws Enemies Sergeants

When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place

Corollary: After the correction has been found in error, it will be impossible to fit the original quantity back into the equation.

Scott's Second Law

Ideas Intelligence Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Corrections Equations Errors

If you leave the room, you're elected.

Matilda's Law of Sub-Committee Formation

Murphy’s Laws Committees

The “Consumer Report” on the item will come out a week after you’ve made your purchase.
Corollaries: 1. The one you bought will be rated “unacceptable.”. 2. The one you almost bought will be rated “best buy.”

Beryl’s Law

Murphy’s Laws Shopping

The probability of arriving at the job site without a needed tool or with the wrong hardware are directly proportional with the square of the travel distance.
Corollary: You will always have what you need when the job is next to your shop.

Repairman's Laws

Murphy’s Laws Things Work Distance Tools

If you think you're wrong, you're wrong

Corollary: If you think you're wrong, you're right.

Thinking Man's Tautology

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Problems Right Wrong

If your project doesn't work, look for the part you didn't think was important.

Biondi's Law

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

The follies which a man regrets most in his life are those which he didn’t commit when he had the opportunity.

Rowland's Law

Life Murphy’s Laws Situations Follies Opportunity

If a headline ends in a question mark, the answer is “no.”

Davis's Law

Headlines Murphy’s Laws Questions

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 29)

No matter what goes wrong, there’s always someone who will say he knew it would.

If it’s good, they’ll stop making it.

When you wear new shoes for the first time, everyone will step on them.

Actually, it only seems as though you mustn't be deceived by appearances.

While the difficulties and dangers of problems tend to increase at a geometric rate, the knowledge and manpower qualified to deal with these problems tend to increase linearly.

There's no special reason; it's just government policy.

If you don't care where you are, you ain't lost.

The length of any meeting is inversely proportional to the length of the agenda for that meeting.

It is a mistake to let any mechanical object realize that you are in a hurry.

A place you want to get to is always just off the edge of the map you happen to have handy.

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

When you're not in a hurry, the traffic light will turn green as soon as your vehicle comes to a complete stop.

If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place

Corollary: After the correction has been found in error, it will be impossible to fit the original quantity back into the equation.

If you leave the room, you're elected.

The “Consumer Report” on the item will come out a week after you’ve made your purchase.
Corollaries: 1. The one you bought will be rated “unacceptable.”. 2. The one you almost bought will be rated “best buy.”

The probability of arriving at the job site without a needed tool or with the wrong hardware are directly proportional with the square of the travel distance.
Corollary: You will always have what you need when the job is next to your shop.

If you think you're wrong, you're wrong

Corollary: If you think you're wrong, you're right.

If your project doesn't work, look for the part you didn't think was important.

The follies which a man regrets most in his life are those which he didn’t commit when he had the opportunity.

If a headline ends in a question mark, the answer is “no.”