Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 3)

The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.

Ninety-ninety Rule of Project Schedules

Murphy’s Laws Time Work

If it works, don't fix it.

First Rule of Rural Mechanics

Murphy’s Laws Repairs

1. Get elected
2. Get re-elected
3. Don’t get mad, get even.

Dirksen's Three Laws of Politics

Anger Elections/Voting Emotions Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians

When a body is immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

Archimedes's Third Principle

Murphy’s Laws Baths Telephone

Watch out for irregular verbs which has cropped up into our language.

The 19 Rules for Good Riting - 4

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Where you stand depends on where you sit.

Miles's Law

Murphy’s Laws Position Sitting Standing

Anyone having supervisory responsibility for the completion of a task will invariably protest that more resources are needed.

Hacker's Law of Personnel

Murphy’s Laws Work Resources

It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

Clark's Law

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Light

Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.

Boyle’s Tenth Law

Failure Murphy’s Laws Success Contingency plans

1. Fat expands to fill any apparel worn.
2. A fat person walks in the middle of the hall.

Livingston's Laws of Fat

Appearance Body Fat Murphy’s Laws

Established technology tends to persist in spite of new technology.

Blaauw's Law

Murphy’s Laws Gerrit Blaauw Technology

Computing power increases as the square of the cost; if you want to do it twice as cheaply, you have to do it four times slower.

Grosch's Law

Computers Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Situations Things Speed

Whenever an expert is confounded by a seemingly insoluble problem, the solution is immediately obvious to the first unqualified person who happens along.

Anonymous Murphy’s Law

Murphy’s Laws Experts Solutions

The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

A Murphy's Military Law

Military Murphy’s Laws Buddy system

If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Lowery's Law

Accidents Failure Murphy’s Laws

To beat the bureaucracy, make your problem their problem.

Principle of Displaced Hassle

Murphy’s Laws Problems Bureaucracy

Bodies in motion tend to remain in motion; bodies at rest tend to remain in bed.

Tewksbury's Law of Motion

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather (Dave Tewksbury) Bed Bodies in motion

1. To get action out of management, it is necessary to create the illusion of a crisis in the hope it will be acted upon. 2. Management will select actions or events and convert them to crises. It will then over-react. 3. Management is incapable of recognizing a true crisis.

Dennis's Principles of Management by Crisis

Murphy’s Laws Problems Crises Management

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

Shaw's Principle

Fools Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Christopher Shaw

When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.
Corollary: Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.

The Rule of Accuracy

Murphy’s Laws Problems Solutions

Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 3)

Beware of a day in which you don't have something to bitch about.

The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.

If it works, don't fix it.

1. Get elected
2. Get re-elected
3. Don’t get mad, get even.

When a body is immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

Watch out for irregular verbs which has cropped up into our language.

Where you stand depends on where you sit.

Anyone having supervisory responsibility for the completion of a task will invariably protest that more resources are needed.

It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.

1. Fat expands to fill any apparel worn.
2. A fat person walks in the middle of the hall.

Established technology tends to persist in spite of new technology.

Computing power increases as the square of the cost; if you want to do it twice as cheaply, you have to do it four times slower.

Whenever an expert is confounded by a seemingly insoluble problem, the solution is immediately obvious to the first unqualified person who happens along.

The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

To beat the bureaucracy, make your problem their problem.

Bodies in motion tend to remain in motion; bodies at rest tend to remain in bed.

1. To get action out of management, it is necessary to create the illusion of a crisis in the hope it will be acted upon. 2. Management will select actions or events and convert them to crises. It will then over-react. 3. Management is incapable of recognizing a true crisis.

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.
Corollary: Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.