Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 32)

(1841–1919) French artist

Food/Drink Life Murphy’s Laws

The only way a reporter should look at a politician is down.

Kent's Law

Government Murphy’s Laws Opinion Politicians Reporters

Whenever two fishing lines are contiguous, they will become continuous.

Rubin’s Law of Fishing Lines

Activities Murphy’s Laws (Louis D. Rubin) Fishing

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

Aunt Emmie’s First Law

Murphy’s Laws Cigarette From Owen Elliott’s Aunt Emmie

To err is human; to really foul things up takes a computer.

Turnauckas's Observation

Computers Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

When putting things back together again, there will always be at least one piece left over that will not fit anywhere.

Stanley's Law of Taking Things Apart

Murphy’s Laws Things Parts

If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.

A Murphy's Military Law

Military Murphy’s Laws Ambushes

Don’t ever be the first, don’t ever be the last and don’t ever volunteer to do anything.

A Murphy's Military Law

Military Murphy’s Laws Volunteering

You should have seen it when I got it.

Bureaucratic Cop-Out #1

Murphy’s Laws Problems Bureaucracy

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Bok's Law

Education Intelligence Money Murphy’s Laws School Stupidity Expense

There are coexisting elements in frustration phenomena which separate expected results from achieved results.

Riddle's Constant

Murphy’s Laws Problems Expectations Frustration

All other things being equal, the side with the simplest uniforms wins.

A Murphy's Military Law

Appearance Clothing Military Murphy’s Laws Plowshares

There's no such thing as a large whiskey.

Rev. Mahaffy's Observation

Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Whiskey

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.

Muir's Law

Murphy’s Laws Universe

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 32)

When an irresistible force meets an immovable object, an unethical lawyer will immediately appear.

If you live long enough, something will kill you.

There is always more dirty laundry than clean laundry.

If your condition seems to be getting better, it's probably your doctor getting sick.

Every silver lining has a cloud.

Never needlessly disturb a thing at rest.

Exciting plays occur only while you are watching the scoreboard or out buying a hot dog.

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks.

The only way a reporter should look at a politician is down.

Whenever two fishing lines are contiguous, they will become continuous.

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

To err is human; to really foul things up takes a computer.

When putting things back together again, there will always be at least one piece left over that will not fit anywhere.

If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.

Don’t ever be the first, don’t ever be the last and don’t ever volunteer to do anything.

You should have seen it when I got it.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

There are coexisting elements in frustration phenomena which separate expected results from achieved results.

All other things being equal, the side with the simplest uniforms wins.

There's no such thing as a large whiskey.

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.