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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 32)

If you know something can go wrong, and take due precaution to prevent it, something else will go wrong.

Patry's Law

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Typesetters always correct intentional errors, but fail to correct unintentional ones.

Otten's Law of Typesetting

Murphy’s Laws Errors Typesetters

In a restaurant with seats which are close to each other, one will always find the decibel level of the nearest conversation to be inversely proportional to the quality of the thought going into it.

Law of Restaurant Acoustics

Communication Conversation Murphy’s Laws Speech Restaurants Restaurants

Expressways aren’t.

Beton’s Discovery

Autos Murphy’s Laws Things Expressways John Beton

The workbench is always untidier than last time. General Law: The chaos in the universe always increases.

Special Law

Murphy’s Laws Chaos Workbenches

All probabilities are 50%; either a thing will happen or it won't.

Colvard's Logical Premise

Murphy’s Laws Probabilities

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

Aunt Emmie’s First Law

Murphy’s Laws Cigarette From Owen Elliott’s Aunt Emmie

If you're already in a hole, there's no use to continue digging.

Walters's Law of Management

Murphy’s Laws Problems

A body at rest tends to watch television.

Smith’s Fourth Law of Inertia

Entertainment Murphy’s Laws Television C. Guy Smith

Brute force, clumsiness, ignorance, and superstition will always triumph over science, skill, knowledge, and logic.

Hugo's First Rule of Life

Murphy’s Laws Success

People to whom you are attracted invariably think you remind them of someone else.

Arthur's First Law of Love

Love Murphy’s Laws People Attraction

The length of a progress report is inversely proportional to the amount of progress.

Sweeney's Law

Murphy’s Laws Progress reports

When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Panic Instruction

Murphy’s Laws Panic Walk fast

When you are served a meal aboard an aircraft, the aircraft will encounter turbulence.

Gunter's First Law of Air Travel

Activities Eating Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Travel Airplanes Turbulence

It's better to retire too soon than too late.

Mosher's Law

Murphy’s Laws Time Retirement

Hockey is a game played by six good players and a home team.

Murray’s Rule of Hockey

Hockey Murphy’s Laws Sports

When dangling, don't use participles.

The 19 Rules for Good Riting - 7

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.

Bowie's Theorem

Murphy’s Laws Things Equipment Experiments

Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 32)

The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front of your eyes.

The most difficult light bulb to replace burns out first and most frequently.

The trouble with resisting temptation is it may never come your way again.

If you know something can go wrong, and take due precaution to prevent it, something else will go wrong.

Typesetters always correct intentional errors, but fail to correct unintentional ones.

In a restaurant with seats which are close to each other, one will always find the decibel level of the nearest conversation to be inversely proportional to the quality of the thought going into it.

Expressways aren’t.

The workbench is always untidier than last time. General Law: The chaos in the universe always increases.

All probabilities are 50%; either a thing will happen or it won't.

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

If you're already in a hole, there's no use to continue digging.

A body at rest tends to watch television.

Brute force, clumsiness, ignorance, and superstition will always triumph over science, skill, knowledge, and logic.

People to whom you are attracted invariably think you remind them of someone else.

The length of a progress report is inversely proportional to the amount of progress.

When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

When you are served a meal aboard an aircraft, the aircraft will encounter turbulence.

It's better to retire too soon than too late.

Hockey is a game played by six good players and a home team.

When dangling, don't use participles.

If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.