Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 38)

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If you drop a full can of beer, and remember to rap the top sharply with your knuckle prior to opening, the ensuing gush of foam will be between 89 and 94 percent of the volume that would splatter you if you didn't do a damned thing and went ahead and pulled the top immediately.

Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Situations

The number of people in any working group tends to increase regardless of the amount of work to be done.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

The amount of wind will vary inversely with the number and experience of the people you take on board.

Murphy’s Laws Sports

When a politician gets an idea, he usually gets it wrong.

Ideas Murphy’s Laws Politicians

Never say “oops” while your patient is conscious.

Doctors Health Murphy’s Laws Problems

There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax.

Murphy’s Laws Taxes Time

The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability.

Murphy’s Laws

Any program will expand to fill available memory.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Things

Success is the result of behavior that completely contradicts the usual expectations about the behavior of a successful person.

Murphy’s Laws Success

After a salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you had before.

Money Murphy’s Laws Work

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

Marriage Men Murphy’s Laws People Wives

No matter how minor the task, you will inevitably end up covered with grease and motor oil.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Things

Winners tell funny stories; losers holler "Deal!"

Murphy’s Laws People

Recoilless rifles – aren’t.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Accidents Failure Murphy’s Laws

Never, ever, fly on the airline of the country from which you are departing.

Murphy’s Laws Places Travel

The one course you must take to graduate will not be offered during your last semester.

Education Murphy’s Laws

Any inanimate object, regardless of its position, configuration or purpose, may be expected to perform at any time in a totally unexpected manner for reasons that are either entirely obscure or else completely mysterious.

Murphy’s Laws Things

Always keep the office door closed. This puts visitors on the defensive and also makes it look as if you are always in an important conference.

Murphy’s Laws

Those who live closest arrive latest.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Time Travel

Grass growing from sidewalk cracks never turns brown.

Murphy’s Laws