Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 38)

A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) – unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).

Anonymous Murphy’s Law

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Things Power tools

Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a bigger can.

Zymurgy's First Law of Systems Dynamics

Murphy’s Laws Problems Can of worms Conrad Schneiker

Food consumed standing up always has ten times the calorific intake of food consumed sitting down.

Gove's Law of Canapés

Eating Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Calories Standing

If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Lockers

Murphy’s Laws Lockers

1. Trial balances don't.
2. Working capital doesn't.
3. Liquidity tends to run out.
4. Return on investments won't.

Spencer's Laws of Accountancy

Money Murphy’s Laws

Less is more.

Michehl's Theorem

Murphy’s Laws

There is no traffic until you need to make a left turn.

Lovka's Law of Driving

Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws Left Turns Traffic

Everything goes wrong all at once.

Quantized Revision of Murphy's Law

Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

Foundation of a party signals the dissolution of the movement.

Andras's Political Postulate

Government Murphy’s Laws Politics Political parties

If you are attempting the impossible, you will fail

Anonymous Murphy’s Law

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

How to locate the slow-moving traffic lane or check-out land: Get in it.

Sprehe’s Discovery

Murphy’s Laws Christopher Sprehe

Caveats are always* forgotten.
*Caveat: except in rare instances

Battleson’s Blathrskite

Murphy’s Laws Kirk Battleson

Only errors exist.
Berman's Corollary to Robert's Axiom: One man's error is another man's data.

Roberts's Axiom

Murphy’s Laws Data Errors

At any public relations luncheon, the quality of the food is inversely related to the quality of the information.

Ubell's Law of Press Luncheons

Food/Drink Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Information Luncheons

Certain items which are crucial to a given activity will show up with uncommon regularity until the day when that activity is planned, at which point the item in question will disappear from the face of the earth.

Rapoport's Rule of the Roller-Skate Key

Murphy’s Laws Things

The lights are most likely to come back on at the precise moment you find the flashlight.

Solomon Short

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author

Murphy’s Laws Things Electricity Flashlight

Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive three weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent.

Anonymous Murphy’s Law

Murphy’s Laws Time Mail

Most jobs resemble a sled dog team: no one gets a change of scenery, except the lead dog.

Moer's Truism

Animals Dogs Murphy’s Laws Situations Work Jobs Scenery

The probability of winning is inversely proportional to the amount of the wager.

McGoon's Law

Money Murphy’s Laws Betting Odds

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 38)

You will never find any more loose change than you have already lost.

Good parking places are always on the other side of the street.

A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) – unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).

Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a bigger can.

Food consumed standing up always has ten times the calorific intake of food consumed sitting down.

If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

1. Trial balances don't.
2. Working capital doesn't.
3. Liquidity tends to run out.
4. Return on investments won't.

Less is more.

There is no traffic until you need to make a left turn.

Everything goes wrong all at once.

Foundation of a party signals the dissolution of the movement.

If you are attempting the impossible, you will fail

How to locate the slow-moving traffic lane or check-out land: Get in it.

Caveats are always* forgotten.
*Caveat: except in rare instances

Only errors exist.
Berman's Corollary to Robert's Axiom: One man's error is another man's data.

At any public relations luncheon, the quality of the food is inversely related to the quality of the information.

Certain items which are crucial to a given activity will show up with uncommon regularity until the day when that activity is planned, at which point the item in question will disappear from the face of the earth.

The lights are most likely to come back on at the precise moment you find the flashlight.

Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive three weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent.

Most jobs resemble a sled dog team: no one gets a change of scenery, except the lead dog.

The probability of winning is inversely proportional to the amount of the wager.