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humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Murphy’s Laws
(Page 38)
View All Murphys Laws
You will never find any more loose change than you have already lost.
Skarstad's Observation
Money
Murphy’s Laws
Loose change
Good parking places are always on the other side of the street.
Gumperson's – Corollary VI
Autos
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Parking places
A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) – unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).
Anonymous Murphy’s Law
Accidents
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Power tools
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a bigger can.
Zymurgy's First Law of Systems Dynamics
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Can of worms
Conrad Schneiker
Food consumed standing up always has ten times the calorific intake of food consumed sitting down.
Gove's Law of Canapés
Eating
Food/Drink
Murphy’s Laws
Calories
Standing
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Lockers
Murphy’s Laws
Lockers
1. Trial balances don't.
2. Working capital doesn't.
3. Liquidity tends to run out.
4. Return on investments won't.
Spencer's Laws of Accountancy
Money
Murphy’s Laws
Less is more.
Michehl's Theorem
Murphy’s Laws
There is no traffic until you need to make a left turn.
Lovka's Law of Driving
Autos
Driving
Murphy’s Laws
Left Turns
Traffic
Everything goes wrong all at once.
Quantized Revision of Murphy's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Time
Foundation of a party signals the dissolution of the movement.
Andras's Political Postulate
Government
Murphy’s Laws
Politics
Political parties
If you are attempting the impossible, you will fail
Anonymous Murphy’s Law
Failure
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
How to locate the slow-moving traffic lane or check-out land: Get in it.
Sprehe’s Discovery
Murphy’s Laws
Christopher Sprehe
Caveats are always* forgotten.
*Caveat: except in rare instances
Battleson’s Blathrskite
Murphy’s Laws
Kirk Battleson
Only errors exist.Berman's Corollary to Robert's Axiom: One man's error is another man's data.
Roberts's Axiom
Murphy’s Laws
Data
Errors
At any public relations luncheon, the quality of the food is inversely related to the quality of the information.
Ubell's Law of Press Luncheons
Food/Drink
Intelligence
Murphy’s Laws
Information
Luncheons
Certain items which are crucial to a given activity will show up with uncommon regularity until the day when that activity is planned, at which point the item in question will disappear from the face of the earth.
Rapoport's Rule of the Roller-Skate Key
Murphy’s Laws
Things
The lights are most likely to come back on at the precise moment you find the flashlight.
Solomon Short
David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Electricity
Flashlight
Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive three weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent.
Anonymous Murphy’s Law
Murphy’s Laws
Time
Mail
Most jobs resemble a sled dog team: no one gets a change of scenery, except the lead dog.
Moer's Truism
Animals
Dogs
Murphy’s Laws
Situations
Work
Jobs
Scenery
The probability of winning is inversely proportional to the amount of the wager.
McGoon's Law
Money
Murphy’s Laws
Betting
Odds
Page 38 of 88
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