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Subject:
Murphy’s Laws
(Page 38)
View All Murphys Laws
If you drop a full can of beer, and remember to rap the top sharply with your knuckle prior to opening, the ensuing gush of foam will be between 89 and 94 percent of the volume that would splatter you if you didn't do a damned thing and went ahead and pulled the top immediately.
Goulden's Axiom of the Bouncing Can
Alcohol
Beer
Food/Drink
Murphy’s Laws
Situations
The number of people in any working group tends to increase regardless of the amount of work to be done.
Parkinson's Fourth Law
Murphy’s Laws
People
Work
The amount of wind will vary inversely with the number and experience of the people you take on board.
Deal's First Law of Sailing
Murphy’s Laws
Sports
Sailing
Wind
When a politician gets an idea, he usually gets it wrong.
Fifth Rule of Politics
Ideas
Murphy’s Laws
Politicians
Never say “oops” while your patient is conscious.
Stettner's Law for Surgeons
Doctors
Health
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Patients
There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax.
Mix's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Taxes
Time
Permanence
The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability.
Gumperson's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Desirability
Probability
Any program will expand to fill available memory.
Laws of Computer Programming V
Computers
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Success is the result of behavior that completely contradicts the usual expectations about the behavior of a successful person.
Paturi Principle
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Behavior
After a salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you had before.
Gumperson's – Corollary I
Money
Murphy’s Laws
Work
Salary
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
Austen's First Law
Marriage
Men
Murphy’s Laws
People
Wives
Jane Austen
No matter how minor the task, you will inevitably end up covered with grease and motor oil.
Bromberg's Second Law of Auto Repair
Autos
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Auto repair
Dirt
Winners tell funny stories; losers holler "Deal!"
Beach's Postulate
Murphy’s Laws
People
Losers
Winners
Recoilless rifles – aren’t.
A Murphy's Military Law
Arms
Military
Murphy’s Laws
Recoilless rifle
If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
Lowery's Law
Accidents
Failure
Murphy’s Laws
Never, ever, fly on the airline of the country from which you are departing.
Litzler's Law of International Travel
Murphy’s Laws
Places
Travel
Airlines
The one course you must take to graduate will not be offered during your last semester.
Seits's Law of Higher Education
Education
Murphy’s Laws
Courses
Any inanimate object, regardless of its position, configuration or purpose, may be expected to perform at any time in a totally unexpected manner for reasons that are either entirely obscure or else completely mysterious.
Flap's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Inanimate objects
Always keep the office door closed. This puts visitors on the defensive and also makes it look as if you are always in an important conference.
Spark's Fifth Rule for Managers
Murphy’s Laws
Management
Those who live closest arrive latest.
Law of Arrival
Activities
Murphy’s Laws
Time
Travel
Distance
Late
Grass growing from sidewalk cracks never turns brown.
Hughes's Observation
Murphy’s Laws
Grass
Page 38 of 88
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