Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 39)

All women marry beneath them.

All great discoveries are made by mistake

Corollary: The greater the funding, the longer it takes to make the mistake.

Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.

Variables won't, constants aren't.

Try to look unimportant, because the bad guys may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.

If you allow someone to get in front of you, you both will have the same destination, and the other car will get the last parking space.

Our customer's paperwork is profit. Our own paperwork is loss.

Fuses never blow during daylight hours.
Corollary: Only after fuses blow do you discover the flashlight batteries are dead and you’re out of candles, or matches, or both.

The faster the plane, the narrower the seats.

1. If you can get to the faulty part, you won't have the tool to get it off. 2. If you can get the part off, the parts house will have it back ordered. 3. If it's in stock, it didn't need replacing in the first place.

A watched pot never boils over.

The most expensive component is the one that breaks.

If Congress must do a painful thing, the thing must be done in an odd-number year.

Never eat prunes when you're hungry.

When a person says that, in the interest of saving time, he will summarize his prepared statement, he will talk only three times as long as if he had read the statement in the first place.

If you do not understand a particular word in a piece of technical writing, ignore it; the piece will make perfect sense without it.

If “sense” is so common, how come we don’t see more of it around?

On a beautiful day like this it's hard to believe anyone can be unhappy – but we'll work on it.

The less you know about an opportunity, the more attractive it is.

An object will fall so as to do the most damage.

Washington is a much better place if you are asking questions rather than answering them.