Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Murphy’s Laws
(Page 39)
View All Murphys Laws
All women marry beneath them.
Astor’s Axiom
Marriage
Murphy’s Laws
Women
(Nancy Astor)
All great discoveries are made by mistake
Corollary: The greater the funding, the longer it takes to make the mistake.
Young's Law
Mistakes
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Discoveries
Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
The 19 Rules for Good Riting - 1
Communication
Language
Murphy’s Laws
Reading/Writing
Variables won't, constants aren't.
Osborn's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Constants
Variables
Try to look unimportant, because the bad guys may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.
A Murphy's Military Law
Military
Murphy’s Laws
If you allow someone to get in front of you, you both will have the same destination, and the other car will get the last parking space.
Athena’s Rule of Driving Courtesy
Driving
Murphy’s Laws
Our customer's paperwork is profit. Our own paperwork is loss.
Brown's Law of Business Success
Communication
Murphy’s Laws
Reading/Writing
Paperwork
Fuses never blow during daylight hours.
Corollary: Only after fuses blow do you discover the flashlight batteries are dead and you’re out of candles, or matches, or both.
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Fuses
The faster the plane, the narrower the seats.
Durrell's Parameter
Activities
Murphy’s Laws
Travel
Airplanes
Seats
1. If you can get to the faulty part, you won't have the tool to get it off. 2. If you can get the part off, the parts house will have it back ordered. 3. If it's in stock, it didn't need replacing in the first place.
Campbell's Laws of Automotive Repair
Autos
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Repairs
A watched pot never boils over.
Skye’s Third Rule
Murphy’s Laws
J. Skye
The most expensive component is the one that breaks.
Farrell's Law of New-Fangled Gadgetry
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Breakage
Expense
Gadgets
Repairs
If Congress must do a painful thing, the thing must be done in an odd-number year.
Pickle's Law
Congress
Government
Murphy’s Laws
Time
Never eat prunes when you're hungry.
Schmidt's Law
Eating
Food/Drink
Murphy’s Laws
When a person says that, in the interest of saving time, he will summarize his prepared statement, he will talk only three times as long as if he had read the statement in the first place.
Otten's Law of Testimony
Communication
Murphy’s Laws
Speech
Time
Summarizing
If you do not understand a particular word in a piece of technical writing, ignore it; the piece will make perfect sense without it.
Cooper's Law
Intelligence
Murphy’s Laws
Understanding
Technical writings
If “sense” is so common, how come we don’t see more of it around?
Bishop’s Query
Intelligence
Murphy’s Laws
C.B. Bishop
Common sense
On a beautiful day like this it's hard to believe anyone can be unhappy – but we'll work on it.
Barr's Comment on Domestic Tranquility
Emotions
Happiness
Murphy’s Laws
The less you know about an opportunity, the more attractive it is.
Bishop’s Law
Murphy’s Laws
Opportunity
Sidney Gross
An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
Law of Selective Gravity (The Buttered Side Down Law)
Murphy’s Laws
Washington is a much better place if you are asking questions rather than answering them.
Dean's Law of the District of Columbia
Murphy’s Laws
Places
Questions
Washington
Page 39 of 88
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On a beautiful day like this it's hard to believe anyone can be unhappy – but we'll work on it.