Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 43)

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist

Murphy’s Laws Things Buy Find Lost Replacement

Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse.

Gattuso’s Extension of Murphy’s Law

Murphy’s Laws

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.

Woman's Rule of Thumb

Murphy’s Laws Signs Written in a woman’s restroom

Automatic: If something is automatic, that simple means that you can’t repair it yourself.

Anonymous

Definitions Murphy’s Laws Problems Repair

Brute force, clumsiness, ignorance, and superstition will always triumph over science, skill, knowledge, and logic.

Hugo's First Rule of Life

Murphy’s Laws Success

Nothing is a temporary as that which is called permanent.

Corollary: Nothing is a permanent as that which is called temporary.

Jose's Axiom

Murphy’s Laws Permanent Temporary

It (housework) expands to fill the time available plus half an hour: so obviously it is never finished.

Conran's Law of Housework

Housework Murphy’s Laws

The stomach expands to accommodate the amount of junk food available.

Fiske's Teenage Corollary to Parkinson's Law

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Junk food Stomach

No real problem has a solution.

Smiths's Law

Murphy’s Laws Problems Solutions

A good review is considered nepotism; a bad one professional jealousy.

Armitstead's Law of Book Reviewing

Communication Murphy’s Laws Opinion Criticism

1. To get action out of management, it is necessary to create the illusion of a crisis in the hope it will be acted upon. 2. Management will select actions or events and convert them to crises. It will then over-react. 3. Management is incapable of recognizing a true crisis.

Dennis's Principles of Management by Crisis

Murphy’s Laws Problems Crises Management

All great discoveries are made by mistake

Corollary: The greater the funding, the longer it takes to make the mistake.

Young's Law

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems Discoveries

Remember on your walk through life, the grass made greener on the other side of the fence is caused by “pasture pies.”

Grandma Soderquist's First Observation

Murphy’s Laws

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 43)

If you're coasting, you're going downhill.

The sloppier the rebel uniform, the more likely the overthrow of the existing government.

Secrecy is the enemy of efficiency, but don’t let anyone know it.

Auditors always reject any expense account with a bottom line divisible by five or ten.

Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.

Less is more.

Food consumed standing up always has ten times the calorific intake of food consumed sitting down.

If it says “one size fits all,” it doesn’t fit anyone.

The best way to find something you have lost is to buy a replacement.

Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse.

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.

Automatic: If something is automatic, that simple means that you can’t repair it yourself.

Brute force, clumsiness, ignorance, and superstition will always triumph over science, skill, knowledge, and logic.

Nothing is a temporary as that which is called permanent.

Corollary: Nothing is a permanent as that which is called temporary.

It (housework) expands to fill the time available plus half an hour: so obviously it is never finished.

The stomach expands to accommodate the amount of junk food available.

No real problem has a solution.

A good review is considered nepotism; a bad one professional jealousy.

1. To get action out of management, it is necessary to create the illusion of a crisis in the hope it will be acted upon. 2. Management will select actions or events and convert them to crises. It will then over-react. 3. Management is incapable of recognizing a true crisis.

All great discoveries are made by mistake

Corollary: The greater the funding, the longer it takes to make the mistake.

Remember on your walk through life, the grass made greener on the other side of the fence is caused by “pasture pies.”