Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 44)

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The only new show worth watching will be cancelled.

Entertainment Murphy’s Laws Television

Those most opposed to serving on committees are made chairmen.

Murphy’s Laws

When a person says that, in the interest of saving time, he will summarize his prepared statement, he will talk only three times as long as if he had read the statement in the first place.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech Time

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

Murphy’s Laws

You can make it foolproof, but you can't make it damnfoolproof.

Fools Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Nothing is as easy as it looks.

Murphy’s Laws

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

Age Murphy’s Laws Old

Justice always prevails… three times out of seven.

Murphy’s Laws

Never bet on a loser because you think his luck is bound to change.

Murphy’s Laws

Any tool dropped while repairing an automobile will roll under the car to the vehicle's exact geographic center.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

Winners tell funny stories; losers holler "Deal!"

Murphy’s Laws People

One child is not enough, but two children are far too many.

Children Family Murphy’s Laws

If you buy bananas or avocados before they are ripe, there won't be any left by the time they are ripe. If you buy them ripe, they rot before they are eaten.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

1. In dealing with their “own” problems, faculty members are the most extreme conservatives 2. In dealing with “other” people's problems, they are the world's most extreme liberals.

Beliefs Government Murphy’s Laws Situations

A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) – unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Things

The deficiency will never show itself during the dry runs.

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Murphy’s Laws Problems

Never step in anything soft.

Murphy’s Laws

Fuses never blow during daylight hours.
Corollary: Only after fuses blow do you discover the flashlight batteries are dead and you’re out of candles, or matches, or both.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Whenever A annoys or injures B on the pretence of saving or improving X, A is a scoundrel.

Murphy’s Laws

If you take your boots off, you'll never get them back on again.

Murphy’s Laws

Some days it's better to stay in bed.

Murphy’s Laws