Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 45)

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If the probability of success is not almost one, then it is damn near zero.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Success

Avoid any action with an unacceptable outcome.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

The one ingredient you made a special trip to the store to get will be the one thing your guest is allergic to.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

The faster the plane, the narrower the seats.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Travel

There are 32 points to the compass, meaning that there are 32 directions in which a spoon can squirt grapefruit; yet, the juice almost invariably flies straight into the human eye.

Murphy’s Laws

No matter how many beautifully crafted, near-to-perfection baked goods you crank out on a regular basis, the moment one such item becomes required in some official capacity, it will flop.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man tired in mid afternoon.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Sleep

Any experiment is reproducible until another laboratory tries to repeat it.

Murphy’s Laws

1. Everything is cold except what should be. 2. Everything, including the corn flakes, is greasy.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Find out the cost before you get in.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Those who are most moral are farthest from the problem.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

The more money the free agent signs for, the less effective he is the following season.

Murphy’s Laws Sports

Use it or lose it.

Murphy’s Laws

Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least.

public relations manager
Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People

The more complicated and grandiose the plan, the greater the chance of a screw-up.

Murphy’s Laws

Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.

Conflict Murphy’s Laws

Traffic congestion increases in proportion to the length of time the street is supervised by a traffic control officer.

Autos Government Murphy’s Laws

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People

You will need three umbrellas: one to leave at the office, one to leave at home, and one to leave on the train.

Intelligence Memory Murphy’s Laws

After large expenditures of federal, state, and county funds; after much confusion generated by detours and road blocks; after greatly annoying the surrounding population with noise, dust, and fumes – the previously existing traffic jam is relocated by one-half mile.

Autos Murphy’s Laws

1. The length of stay of out-of-town guests is inversely proportional to their desirability. 2. There are three absolute maxims for the handyman – your garden hose, extension cord and ladder are always too short.

Murphy’s Laws