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humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Murphy’s Laws
(Page 45)
View All Murphys Laws
If the probability of success is not almost one, then it is damn near zero.
Fourth Law of Thermodynamics
Failure
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Avoid any action with an unacceptable outcome.
Nichols' Fourth Law
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
The one ingredient you made a special trip to the store to get will be the one thing your guest is allergic to.
Fourth Law of Kitchen Confusion
Cooking
Food/Drink
Murphy’s Laws
Ingredients
The faster the plane, the narrower the seats.
Durrell's Parameter
Activities
Murphy’s Laws
Travel
Airplanes
Seats
There are 32 points to the compass, meaning that there are 32 directions in which a spoon can squirt grapefruit; yet, the juice almost invariably flies straight into the human eye.
Sattler's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Grapefruit juice
No matter how many beautifully crafted, near-to-perfection baked goods you crank out on a regular basis, the moment one such item becomes required in some official capacity, it will flop.
A Murphy’s Law of the Kitchen
Cooking
Food/Drink
Murphy’s Laws
Baking
Early to bed and early to rise makes a man tired in mid afternoon.
Storz’s Revision
Activities
Murphy’s Laws
Sleep
Rudolf Stor
Any experiment is reproducible until another laboratory tries to repeat it.
Kohn's Second Law
Murphy’s Laws
Experiments
1. Everything is cold except what should be. 2. Everything, including the corn flakes, is greasy.
Laws of Institutional Food
Food/Drink
Murphy’s Laws
Institutions
Find out the cost before you get in.
Taxi Principle
Money
Murphy’s Laws
Those who are most moral are farthest from the problem.
Alinsky's Rule for Radicals
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
The more money the free agent signs for, the less effective he is the following season.
Indisputable Law of Sports Contracts
Murphy’s Laws
Sports
Free agents
Use it or lose it.
Ford’s Commandment
Murphy’s Laws
(Henry Ford)
Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least.
Rozanne Weissman
public relations manager
Characteristics
Murphy’s Laws
People
Approval
The more complicated and grandiose the plan, the greater the chance of a screw-up.
Knagg’s Law
Murphy’s Laws
Plans
Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.
Greener's Law
Conflict
Murphy’s Laws
Arguments
Newspapers
Traffic congestion increases in proportion to the length of time the street is supervised by a traffic control officer.
Bumper-To-Bumper Belief
Autos
Government
Murphy’s Laws
Police
Traffic
Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
(Sam) Brown's Law
Characteristics
Murphy’s Laws
People
Offending
You will need three umbrellas: one to leave at the office, one to leave at home, and one to leave on the train.
Umbrella Law
Intelligence
Memory
Murphy’s Laws
Umbrellas
After large expenditures of federal, state, and county funds; after much confusion generated by detours and road blocks; after greatly annoying the surrounding population with noise, dust, and fumes – the previously existing traffic jam is relocated by one-half mile.
Law of Road Construction
Autos
Murphy’s Laws
Traffic
1. The length of stay of out-of-town guests is inversely proportional to their desirability. 2. There are three absolute maxims for the handyman – your garden hose, extension cord and ladder are always too short.
Willey’s Discoveries
Murphy’s Laws
Boots Willey
Page 45 of 88
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