Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 48)

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No matter how many good tables are free, you will always be given the worst available.

Murphy’s Laws

The most undesirable things are the most certain (death and taxes).

Death Murphy’s Laws Problems Taxes

If Congress must do a painful thing, the thing must be done in an odd-number year.

Congress Government Murphy’s Laws Time

Reforms come from below; no man with four aces howls for a new deal.

Murphy’s Laws

Any tool dropped while repairing an automobile will roll beneath the vehicle to its exact centre.

Autos Murphy’s Laws

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

Murphy’s Laws

Laziness is the mother of nine inventions out of ten.

Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

The child that divides gets last pick.

Children Murphy’s Laws

The length of a progress report is inversely proportional to the amount of progress.

Murphy’s Laws

If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person – they will find an easier way to do it.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Work

The hardness of the butter is in direct proportion to the softness of the roll.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

No matter which direction you start it’s always against the wind coming back.

Activities Murphy’s Laws

1. Get elected
2. Get re-elected
3. Don’t get mad, get even.

Anger Elections/Voting Emotions Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians

If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

Military Murphy’s Laws

In a surplus labor economy, the squeaking wheel does not get the grease; it gets replaced.

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

Incompetence tends to increase with the level of work performed. And naturally the individual’s staff needs will increase as his level of incompetence increases.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Everything takes longer than you think.

Murphy’s Laws Time

You should have seen it when I got it.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle.

(1910 – 1999) American U.S. Air Force officer & flight surgeon
Murphy’s Laws Success

Things go right so they can go wrong.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Bad regulation begets worse regulation.

Murphy’s Laws