Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Murphy’s Laws
(Page 5)
View All Murphys Laws
A watched pot never boils over.
Skye’s Third Rule
Murphy’s Laws
J. Skye
Tolerances will accumulate unidirectionally toward maximum difficulty of assembly.
Klipstein's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Assembly
Difficulties
Tolerances
Everything I like is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
Alexander Woollcott
(1887 – 1943) theater critic & commentator
Murphy’s Laws
Also P. G. Wodehouse
Those who cannot teach – administrate.
Martin's Extension
Murphy’s Laws
Occupations
Work
Administrate
Teachers
A bachelor can only chase a girl until she catches him.
Draper's Law
Marriage
Men
Murphy’s Laws
People
Women
Bachelors
An object at rest will be in the wrong place.
Gerrold's Second Law of Infernal Dynamics
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Object
If there are two possible ways to spell a person’s name, you will pick the wrong spelling.
Second Law of Business Meetings
Communication
Murphy’s Laws
Reading/Writing
Names
Spelling
Actually, it only seems as though you mustn't be deceived by appearances.
The Obvious Law
Appearance
Characteristics
Murphy’s Laws
Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough.
Wyszowski's Second Law
Murphy’s Laws
Time
Tinkering
You can throw a burnt match out the window of your car and start a forest fire, but you can use two boxes of matches and a whole edition of the Sunday paper without being able to start a fire under the dry logs in your fireplace.
Gumperson's – Corollary III
Murphy’s Laws
Situations
Starting a fire
If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
Murphy's Eighth Military Law
Military
Murphy’s Laws
Naps
Officers
The damage rarely exceeds the deductible.
Webster’s Law
Murphy’s Laws
Insurance
You can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs.
Stalin's Law
Conflict
Food/Drink
Murphy’s Laws
Everything takes more time and money.
Decaprio's Rule
Life
Money
Murphy’s Laws
Time
Everything
The difficult we do immediately; the impossible takes a little while longer.
A Murphy's Military Law
Military
Murphy’s Laws
U.S. Navy Seabees
Government intervention in the free market always leads to a lower national standard of living.
Baxter's First Law
Government
Murphy’s Laws
Standard of living
All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather.
A Murphy's Military Law
Military
Murphy’s Laws
As soon as you dispose of a book, even one that has gathered dust for years, a pressing need to refer to it will arise.
Rawson's First Law
Books
Murphy’s Laws
Time
(Hugh Rawson)
Needs
Anything in parentheses can be ignored.
Seeger's Law
Communication
Language
Murphy’s Laws
Reading/Writing
Parentheses
The usefulness of any meeting is in inverse proportion to the attendance.
Kirkland's Law
Murphy’s Laws
People
Situations
Attendance
Meetings
Usefullness
Those most opposed to serving on committees are made chairmen.
Third Law of Committo-Dynamics
Murphy’s Laws
Chairmen
Committees
Page 5 of 88
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