Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 54)

A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) – unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).

Anonymous Murphy’s Law

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Things Power tools

Only a bureaucracy can fight a bureaucracy.

Bureaucracy Principle

Murphy’s Laws Bureaucracy

A fool in a high station is like a man on the top of a small mountain: everything appears small to him and he appears small to everybody.

Matsch's Maxim

Fools Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
Corollary: Corresponding errors will show up in the duplicate while the boss is reading it.

First Law of Office Murphology

Communication Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems Letters

1. Giving away baby clothes and furniture is a major cause of pregnancy. 2. Always be backlit. 3. Sit down whenever possible.

Alden’s Laws

Children Family Murphy’s Laws Nancy Alden Pregnancy

Whenever you cut your fingernails, you will find a need for them an hour later.

Witten's Law

Murphy’s Laws Fingernails

No matter how many alterations, cheap pants never fit.

Taylor's Law of Tailoring

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws (also Firth’s Law of Tailoring)

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

Robert Benchley

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist

Murphy’s Laws People Work Benchley's Law

The sumptuousnss of a company's annual report is in inverse proportion to its profitability that year.

Hale's Rule

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing Business

If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.

Van Roy's Truism

Murphy’s Laws Advice

A taxpayer is someone who does not have to take a civil service exam in order to work for the government.

Krueger's Observation

Government Murphy’s Laws Taxes

1. That which has not yet been taught directly can never be taught directly 2. If at first you don’t succeed, you will never succeed.

Forthoffer's Cynical Summary of Barzun's Laws

Education Murphy’s Laws Success Teaching

Smile, tomorrow will be worse.

Murphy Philosophy

Murphy’s Laws

1. A dirty book is seldom dusty.
2. Any time you get a mouthful of hot soup, the next thing you do will be wrong.
3. How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.

Zall's Laws

Murphy’s Laws

The efficiency of a committee meeting is inversely proportional to the number of participants and the time spent on deliberations.

Old and Kahn's Law

Murphy’s Laws Time Committees

Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.

Greener's Law

Conflict Murphy’s Laws Arguments Newspapers

Join clauses good like a conjunction should.

The 19 Rules for Good Riting - 8

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

1. All bicycles weigh 50 pounds.
2. 30-pound bicycle needs a 20-pound lock and chain.
3. A 40-pound bicycle needs a 10-pound lock and chain.
4. A 50-pound bicycle needs no lock or chain.

Bicycle Laws

Murphy’s Laws Things Bicycles Weight

After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself.

Farnsdick's Corollary

Murphy’s Laws

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humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 54)

The leak in the roof is never in the same location as the drip.

If things were left to chance, they'd be better.

A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) – unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).

Only a bureaucracy can fight a bureaucracy.

A fool in a high station is like a man on the top of a small mountain: everything appears small to him and he appears small to everybody.

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
Corollary: Corresponding errors will show up in the duplicate while the boss is reading it.

1. Giving away baby clothes and furniture is a major cause of pregnancy. 2. Always be backlit. 3. Sit down whenever possible.

Whenever you cut your fingernails, you will find a need for them an hour later.

No matter how many alterations, cheap pants never fit.

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

The sumptuousnss of a company's annual report is in inverse proportion to its profitability that year.

If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.

A taxpayer is someone who does not have to take a civil service exam in order to work for the government.

1. That which has not yet been taught directly can never be taught directly 2. If at first you don’t succeed, you will never succeed.

Smile, tomorrow will be worse.

1. A dirty book is seldom dusty.
2. Any time you get a mouthful of hot soup, the next thing you do will be wrong.
3. How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.

The efficiency of a committee meeting is inversely proportional to the number of participants and the time spent on deliberations.

Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.

Join clauses good like a conjunction should.

1. All bicycles weigh 50 pounds.
2. 30-pound bicycle needs a 20-pound lock and chain.
3. A 40-pound bicycle needs a 10-pound lock and chain.
4. A 50-pound bicycle needs no lock or chain.

After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself.