Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 58)

View All Murphys Laws

Nothing is so simple it cannot be misunderstood.

Murphy’s Laws

Auditors always reject any expense account with a bottom line divisible by five or ten.

Money Murphy’s Laws

The gifts you buy your wife are never as appropriate as the gifts your neighbor buys his wife.

Husbands Murphy’s Laws Shopping Wives

Grass growing from sidewalk cracks never turns brown.

Murphy’s Laws

Nine times out of ten in the arts, as in life, there is actually no truth to be discovered; there is only error to be exposed.

Entertainment Murphy’s Laws

Everything you read in the newspapers is absolutely true except for that rare story of which you happen to have firsthand knowledge.

Characteristics Communication Honesty Murphy’s Laws Truth

If you are attempting the impossible, you will fail

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

In any human enterprise, work seeks the lowest hierarchical level.

Murphy’s Laws Work

The ratio of time involved in work to time available for work is usually about 0.6.

Murphy’s Laws Time Work

The fury engendered by the misspelling of a name in a (newspaper) column is in direct ratio to the obscurity of the mentionee.

Anger Characteristics Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

If everybody wants it, nobody gets it.

Murphy’s Laws Situations

Anything that happens enough times to irritate you will happen at least once more.

Murphy’s Laws

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you; tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws

In matters of dispute, the bank's balance is always smaller than yours.

Money Murphy’s Laws

You are always complimented on the item that took the least effort to prepare. Example: If you make roast turkey, you will be complimented on the baked potato.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most embarrassment will be the one to

Emotions Murphy’s Laws Problems

If you have only one nail, it will bend.

Murphy’s Laws

The amount of time you have to wait for a bus is directly proportional to the inclemency of the weather.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

Appearance Dating Murphy’s Laws People Relationships

The successful pundit is provided more opportunities to say things than he has things worth saying.

Murphy’s Laws

As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains

Food/Drink Military Murphy’s Laws