Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Murphy’s Laws
(Page 59)
View All Murphys Laws
No matter how minor the task, you will inevitably end up covered with grease and motor oil.
Bromberg's Second Law of Auto Repair
Autos
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Auto repair
Dirt
Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive three weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent.
Anonymous Murphy’s Law
Murphy’s Laws
Time
Mail
If you wait, it will go away.
Hellrung's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Time
A 60-day warranty guarantees that the product will self-destruct on the 61st day.
Sintetos's First Law of Consumerism
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Warranties
One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.
Roger's Ratio
America
Murphy’s Laws
People
Promotion
History repeats itself. That's one of the things wrong with history.
Darrow's Observation
History
Murphy’s Laws
Time
Things hate people.
Pruett's Law of Perversity
Murphy’s Laws
People
Things
A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.
Diner's Dilemma
Clothing
Food/Drink
Murphy’s Laws
Soup
Ties
Most jobs resemble a sled dog team: no one gets a change of scenery, except the lead dog.
Moer's Truism
Animals
Dogs
Murphy’s Laws
Situations
Work
Jobs
Scenery
The Course of Progress: Most things get steadily worse.
The Path of Progress: A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.
Issawi's Laws of Progress
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Worse
Internal consistency is valued more highly than efficiency.
Peter's Inversion
Murphy’s Laws
Consistency
Efficiency
Whatever plan one makes, there is a hidden difficulty somewhere.
Van Gogh's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Plans
If you run into an old girlfriend – no matter how innocently – your wife will know about it before you get home.
Murphy's First Law for Husbands
Husbands
Marriage
Murphy’s Laws
Wives
1. That which has not yet been taught directly can never be taught directly 2. If at first you don’t succeed, you will never succeed.
Forthoffer's Cynical Summary of Barzun's Laws
Education
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Teaching
The speaker with the most monotonous voice speaks after the big meal.
Collin's Conference Principle
Communication
Food/Drink
Murphy’s Laws
Speech
Conferences
No matter where or what, there are makers, takers, and fakers.
Kegley's Principle of Observation
Murphy’s Laws
2 is not equal to 3 – not even for very large values of 2.
Grabel's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Mathematics
The attention span of a computer is only as long as its electrical cord.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Computers
Murphy’s Laws
Science/Weather
Things
Electrical cords
One day you’re a peacock, the next day you’re a feather duster.
Locke's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Duster
Peacock
The longer the title, the less important the job.
McGovern's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Work
Titles
Anything, no matter how bad, will sound good if played at a very high volume for a short time.
Culshaw's First Principle of Recorded Sound
Murphy’s Laws
Science/Weather
Sound
Volume
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