Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 59)

No matter how minor the task, you will inevitably end up covered with grease and motor oil.

Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive three weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent.

If you wait, it will go away.

A 60-day warranty guarantees that the product will self-destruct on the 61st day.

One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.

History repeats itself. That's one of the things wrong with history.

Things hate people.

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

Most jobs resemble a sled dog team: no one gets a change of scenery, except the lead dog.

The Course of Progress: Most things get steadily worse.
The Path of Progress: A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.

Internal consistency is valued more highly than efficiency.

Whatever plan one makes, there is a hidden difficulty somewhere.

If you run into an old girlfriend – no matter how innocently – your wife will know about it before you get home.

1. That which has not yet been taught directly can never be taught directly 2. If at first you don’t succeed, you will never succeed.

The speaker with the most monotonous voice speaks after the big meal.

No matter where or what, there are makers, takers, and fakers.

2 is not equal to 3 – not even for very large values of 2.

The attention span of a computer is only as long as its electrical cord.

One day you’re a peacock, the next day you’re a feather duster.

The longer the title, the less important the job.

Anything, no matter how bad, will sound good if played at a very high volume for a short time.