Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 6)

The limits of the possible can only be defined by going beyond them into the impossible.

Any paint, regardless of quality or composition, will adhere permanently to any surface, prepared or otherwise, if applied accidentally.

The amount of junk is in direct proportion to the amount of space available.

When a person says that, in the interest of saving time, he will summarize his prepared statement, he will talk only three times as long as if he had read the statement in the first place.

History does not repeat itself; historians simply repeat each other.

Caveats are always* forgotten.
*Caveat: except in rare instances

It’s easy to tell when you’ve got a bargain – it doesn’t fit.

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

Highways in the worst need of repair naturally have low traffic counts, which results in low priority for repair work.

The best laid plans of mice and men are usually about equal.

Some object to the fan dancer, others to the fan.

It is the essence of grantsmanship to persuade the foundation executives that it was they who suggested the research project and that you were a belated convert, agreeing reluctantly to all they had proposed.

The chief cause of problems is solutions.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

In a family recipe that you discovered in an old book, the most vital measurement will be illegible.

The cigarette smoke always drifts in the direction of the non-smoker regardless of the direction of the breeze.

Where you stand depends on where you sit.

There is always one more bug.

Everything goes wrong all at once.

About sentence fragments.

1. Get elected
2. Get re-elected
3. Don’t get mad, get even.