Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Murphy’s Laws
(Page 6)
View All Murphys Laws
The limits of the possible can only be defined by going beyond them into the impossible.
Clarke's Second Law
Murphy’s Laws
Possibilities
Any paint, regardless of quality or composition, will adhere permanently to any surface, prepared or otherwise, if applied accidentally.
Minton's Law of Painting
Murphy’s Laws
Things
On painter J. M. W. Turner's ‘The Slave Ship'
The amount of junk is in direct proportion to the amount of space available.
Hogg's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Space
When a person says that, in the interest of saving time, he will summarize his prepared statement, he will talk only three times as long as if he had read the statement in the first place.
Otten's Law of Testimony
Communication
Murphy’s Laws
Speech
Time
Summaries
History does not repeat itself; historians simply repeat each other.
Bettman’s Revision
History
Murphy’s Laws
Time
Otto Bettman
Caveats are always* forgotten.
*Caveat: except in rare instances
Battleson’s Blathrskite
Murphy’s Laws
Kirk Battleson
It’s easy to tell when you’ve got a bargain – it doesn’t fit.
Adam’s Corollary to Eve’s Discovery
Activities
Clothing
Murphy’s Laws
Shopping
Bargains
A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.
Aunt Emmie’s First Law
Accidents
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Things
Cigarette
From Owen Elliott’s Aunt Emmie
Highways in the worst need of repair naturally have low traffic counts, which results in low priority for repair work.
Cleveland's Highway Law
Autos
Murphy’s Laws
Highways
Repair
The best laid plans of mice and men are usually about equal.
Blair's Observation
Murphy’s Laws
Plans
Some object to the fan dancer, others to the fan.
Si Perkins' ‘People Differ’ Law
Murphy’s Laws
Opinion
Objections
It is the essence of grantsmanship to persuade the foundation executives that it was they who suggested the research project and that you were a belated convert, agreeing reluctantly to all they had proposed.
Parkinson's Principle of Non-Origination
Murphy’s Laws
Research grants
The chief cause of problems is solutions.
Sevareid's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Solutions
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Grandpa Charnock's Law
Driving
Murphy’s Laws
Swearing
In a family recipe that you discovered in an old book, the most vital measurement will be illegible.
First Law of Kitchen Confusion
Cooking
Food/Drink
Murphy’s Laws
Recipes
The cigarette smoke always drifts in the direction of the non-smoker regardless of the direction of the breeze.
Dhawan's Law for the Non-Smoker
Activities
Murphy’s Laws
Situations
Cigarettes
Non-smoker
Smoke
Wind
Where you stand depends on where you sit.
Miles's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Position
Sitting
Standing
There is always one more bug.
Law of Cybernetic Entomology
Computers
Mistakes
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Things
Everything goes wrong all at once.
Thyme's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Time
About sentence fragments.
The 19 Rules for Good Riting - 11
Communication
Language
Murphy’s Laws
Reading/Writing
1. Get elected
2. Get re-elected
3. Don’t get mad, get even.
Dirksen's Three Laws of Politics
Anger
Elections/Voting
Emotions
Government
Murphy’s Laws
Politicians
Page 6 of 88
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