Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 6)

The first shall be last and the last shall be first, but if you're in the middle, you're stuck there.

No matter what goes wrong, there’s always someone who will say he knew it would.

Those with the best advice offer no advice.

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons!

When you move something to a more logical place, you only can remember where it used to be and your decision to move it.

All things being equal, you lose.
Corollary: All things being in your favor, you still lose.

Negative expectation thwarts realization, and self-congratulation guarantees disaster. (Or, simply put… if you think of it, it won't happen quite that way.)

Everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.

Digestion is the great secret of life.

In your toughest final – for the first time all year – the most distractingly attractive student in the class will sit next to you.

Kickbacks must always exceed bribes.

1. Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.
2. Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
3. If at first you don't succeed, try something else.

Once you overcome your fear of public speaking, you’ll never be asked to speak again.

Disorder expands proportionately to the tolerance for it.

‘Push’ is the force exerted upon the door marked PULL.

A rumor will travel fastest to the place where it will cause the greatest harm.

1. If you like it, they don't have it in your size. 2. If you like it and its in your size, it doesn't fit anyway. 3. If you like it and it fits, you can't afford it. 4. If you like it, it fits, and you can afford it, it falls apart the first time you wash it.

Nature will tell you a direct lie if she can.

There is a tendency for the person in the most powerful position in an organization to spend all his time serving on committees and signing letters.

Typesetters always correct intentional errors, but fail to correct unintentional ones.

Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.