Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 60)

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1. The last gas station for 50 miles will be closed when you get there. 2. At the moment of any departure, the level of gas in your tank depends entirely on how late you are. 3. You only run out of gas after your wife tells you to stop for gas before you run out.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Things Travel

Most accidents in well-designed systems involve two or more events of low probability occurring in the worst possible combination.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Clearly stated instructions will consistently produce multiple interpretations.

Murphy’s Laws

The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do anything. Stability is achieved when you spend all your time doing nothing but reporting on the nothing you are doing.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

1. Everything is cold except what should be. 2. Everything, including the corn flakes, is greasy.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Variables won't, constants aren't.

Murphy’s Laws

Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.

Murphy’s Laws Time Work

If you knew what you were doing you'd probably be bored.

Murphy’s Laws

There's no special reason; it's just government policy.

Government Murphy’s Laws

A bird in the hand is dead.

Animals Death Murphy’s Laws

No matter which book you need, it's on the bottom shelf.

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

If several things that could have gone wrong have not gone wrong, it would have been ultimately beneficial for them to have gone wrong.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Our customer's paperwork is profit. Our own paperwork is loss.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

Murphy’s Laws

Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

Unlimited warranties are usually neither.

Murphy’s Laws

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People Stupidity

If you have the facts on your side, hammer the facts. If you have the law on your side, hammer the law. If you have neither the facts nor the law, hammer the table.

Facts Government Law Murphy’s Laws

Anything in parentheses can be ignored.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Don't let anyone kid you about the life of Riley.

Murphy’s Laws

Remember on your walk through life, the grass made greener on the other side of the fence is caused by “pasture pies.”

Murphy’s Laws