Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 61)

The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

Salary Axiom

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes Pay raises

One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.

Roger's Ratio

America Murphy’s Laws People Promotion

A bird in the hand is dead.

Boozer's Revision

Animals Death Murphy’s Laws Birds

Them what gets – has.

Wakefield's Refutation of the Iron Law of Distribution

Murphy’s Laws Possession

1. Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.
2. Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
3. If at first you don't succeed, try something else.

Peter's Corollaries

Murphy’s Laws People Work Incompetence

When the product is destined to fail, the delivery system will perform perfectly.

Boyle’s Second Law

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Anonymous

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Bills Checks Mail Speed

The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

A Murphy's Military Law

Clothing Military Murphy’s Laws

Speak with authority; however, expound only on the obvious and proven facts.

Spark's Third Rule for Managers

Murphy’s Laws Management

What men learn from history is that men do not learn from history.

Economists' Law I

Education History Learning Murphy’s Laws People Time

There is no such thing as an unattached woman.

The Rueful Bachelor's Law

Murphy’s Laws People Relationships Women

Only adults have difficulty with child-proof bottles.

Third Principle for Patients

Health Murphy’s Laws People Adults Child-proof bottles

After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.

de la Lastra's Corollary

Murphy’s Laws Screws

1. That which has not yet been taught directly can never be taught directly 2. If at first you don’t succeed, you will never succeed.

Forthoffer's Cynical Summary of Barzun's Laws

Education Murphy’s Laws Success Teaching

Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.

A Murphy's Military Law

Military Murphy’s Laws

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair

Murphy’s Laws Situations Grease

You climb the ladder of success easier when you lay it flat.

Dietvorst's Law

Murphy’s Laws Success

In any group of eagles, you will find some turkeys.

Allaln’s Theorem

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Allan Guerrina

Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 61)

Anything that can be changed will be changed up until there is no time left to change anything.

A spoon placed in the sink will locate to maximize splash from the faucet.

If you need n items of anything, you will have n – 1 in stock.

The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.

A bird in the hand is dead.

Them what gets – has.

1. Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.
2. Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
3. If at first you don't succeed, try something else.

When the product is destined to fail, the delivery system will perform perfectly.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

Speak with authority; however, expound only on the obvious and proven facts.

What men learn from history is that men do not learn from history.

There is no such thing as an unattached woman.

Only adults have difficulty with child-proof bottles.

After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.

1. That which has not yet been taught directly can never be taught directly 2. If at first you don’t succeed, you will never succeed.

Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

You climb the ladder of success easier when you lay it flat.

In any group of eagles, you will find some turkeys.