Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 61)

One of the greatest unsolved riddles of restaurant eating is that the customer usually gets faster service when the restaurant is crowded than when it is half empty; it seems that the less the staff has to do, the slower they do it.

Harris's Restaurant Paradox

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Crowds Restaurants Riddles Speed

People become progressively less competent for jobs they once were well equipped to handle.

The Paul Principle

Murphy’s Laws People Work Competentcy

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

(Sam) Brown's Law

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People Offending

If you have only one nail, it will bend.

Bowersox's Law of the Workshop

Murphy’s Laws Nails

Urgency varies inversely with importance.

Frothingham's Fourth Law

Murphy’s Laws Time Urgency

The only time you come up with a great solution is after somebody else has solved the problem.

Law of the Great Idea

Murphy’s Laws Problems Solutions

Tolerances will accumulate unidirectionally toward maximum difficulty of assembly.

Klipstein's Law

Murphy’s Laws Problems Assembly Difficulties Tolerances

The fewer functions any device is required to perform, the more perfectly it can perform those functions.

The Principle Concerning Multifunctional Devices

Murphy’s Laws Things Functions

If you want to kill any idea in the world today, get a committee working on it.

Kettering's First Law

Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Committees

Never murder a man who is committing suicide.

Wilson’s Law

Government Murphy’s Laws Politics Situations (Woodrow Wilson)

If you drop something, it will never reach the ground.

Femo's Law of Automotive Engine Repairing

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

The book or periodical most vital to the completion of your term paper will be missing from the library.

Corollary: If it is available, the most important page will be torn out.

Murphy's Rule of the Term Paper

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing School Exams

Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive three weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent.

Anonymous Murphy’s Law

Murphy’s Laws Time Mail

Fuses never blow during daylight hours.
Corollary: Only after fuses blow do you discover the flashlight batteries are dead and you’re out of candles, or matches, or both.

Murphy’s Laws Things Fuses

If the assumptions are wrong, the conclusions aren't likely to be very good.

Burns's Balance

Murphy’s Laws Problems Assumptions Conclusions

Whatever you did, that's what you planned.

Featherkile's Rule

Murphy’s Laws Plans

You can't push on a rope.

Meadow's Maxim

Murphy’s Laws

If you can’t get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

Shaw’s Solution

Murphy’s Laws Family skeleton George Bernard Shaw

If you view your problem closely enough, you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.

Ducharme's Axiom

Murphy’s Laws Problems Self

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 61)

A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

One of the greatest unsolved riddles of restaurant eating is that the customer usually gets faster service when the restaurant is crowded than when it is half empty; it seems that the less the staff has to do, the slower they do it.

People become progressively less competent for jobs they once were well equipped to handle.

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

If you have only one nail, it will bend.

Urgency varies inversely with importance.

The only time you come up with a great solution is after somebody else has solved the problem.

Tolerances will accumulate unidirectionally toward maximum difficulty of assembly.

The fewer functions any device is required to perform, the more perfectly it can perform those functions.

If you want to kill any idea in the world today, get a committee working on it.

Never murder a man who is committing suicide.

If you drop something, it will never reach the ground.

The book or periodical most vital to the completion of your term paper will be missing from the library.

Corollary: If it is available, the most important page will be torn out.

Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive three weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent.

Fuses never blow during daylight hours.
Corollary: Only after fuses blow do you discover the flashlight batteries are dead and you’re out of candles, or matches, or both.

If the assumptions are wrong, the conclusions aren't likely to be very good.

Whatever you did, that's what you planned.

You can't push on a rope.

If you can’t get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

If you view your problem closely enough, you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.