Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Subject:
Murphy’s Laws
(Page 62)
View All Murphys Laws
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.
Epperson's Law
Activities
Games
Men
Murphy’s Laws
Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.
Wiker's Law
Government
Money
Murphy’s Laws
Grows
Revenue
The army with the smartest dress uniform will lose.
Murphy's Fifth Military Law
Conflict
Military
Murphy’s Laws
Army
Uniforms
If there are twelve clowns in a ring, you can jump in the middle and start reciting Shakespeare, but to the audience, you'll just be the thirteenth clown.
Walinsky's First Law of Political Campaigns
Murphy’s Laws
People
Clowns
Groups
Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
Slick's First Law of the Universe
Money
Murphy’s Laws
Science/Weather
Things
Bad check
Speed
The most expensive component is the one that breaks.
Law of New Fangled Gadgetry
Money
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Halitosis is better than no breath at all.
Freeman's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Halitosis
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last.
Law of the Theater & Arena
Murphy’s Laws
Situations
Time
Seats
If a situation requires undivided attention, it will occur simultaneously with a compelling distraction.
Hutchinson’s Law
Murphy’s Laws
Situations
Attention
Distraction
On a beautiful day like this it's hard to believe anyone can be unhappy – but we'll work on it.
Barr's Comment on Domestic Tranquility
Emotions
Happiness
Murphy’s Laws
The cost of the hairdo is directly related to the strength of the wind.
Anonymous
Appearance
Hair
Murphy’s Laws
Virtue is its own punishment.
Denniston's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Virtue
When team members are finally in a position to help the team, it turns out they have quit the team.
Evan's Law of Politics
Murphy’s Laws
People
Teams
When you are right, be logical; when you are wrong, be-fuddle.
McKenna's Law
Communication
Murphy’s Laws
Right
Wrong
Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
Andy Rooney
(1919 – 2011) American news commentator & writer
Murphy’s Laws
Probabilities
Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.
Horner's Five Thumb Postulate
Accidents
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Equipment
Experience
Nobody really cares or understands what anyone else is doing.
Law of the Individual
Murphy’s Laws
People
Caring
If it moves, salute it; if it doesn't move, pick it up; if you can't pick it up, paint it.
Army Law
Military
Murphy’s Laws
Saluting
The first example of superior principle is always inferior to the developed example of inferior principle.
Law of Superiority
Murphy’s Laws
Superiority
Theories
Everybody wants to peel his own banana.
Young's Principle on Emergent Individuation
Food/Drink
Murphy’s Laws
No matter how often you trade dinner or other invitations with in-laws, you will lose a small fortune in the exchange.
Clark's First Law of Relativity
Family
Money
Murphy’s Laws
Relationships
In-laws
Invitations
Page 62 of 88
« First
« Previous
60
61
62
63
64
Next »
Last »
On a beautiful day like this it's hard to believe anyone can be unhappy – but we'll work on it.