Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 62)

When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.

The army with the smartest dress uniform will lose.

If there are twelve clowns in a ring, you can jump in the middle and start reciting Shakespeare, but to the audience, you'll just be the thirteenth clown.

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

The most expensive component is the one that breaks.

Halitosis is better than no breath at all.

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last.

If a situation requires undivided attention, it will occur simultaneously with a compelling distraction.


On a beautiful day like this it's hard to believe anyone can be unhappy – but we'll work on it.

The cost of the hairdo is directly related to the strength of the wind.

Virtue is its own punishment.

When team members are finally in a position to help the team, it turns out they have quit the team.

When you are right, be logical; when you are wrong, be-fuddle.

Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

(1919 – 2011) American news commentator & writer

Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.

Nobody really cares or understands what anyone else is doing.

If it moves, salute it; if it doesn't move, pick it up; if you can't pick it up, paint it.

The first example of superior principle is always inferior to the developed example of inferior principle.

Everybody wants to peel his own banana.

No matter how often you trade dinner or other invitations with in-laws, you will lose a small fortune in the exchange.