Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 63)

The more boring and out-of-date the magazines in the waiting room, the longer you will have to wait for your scheduled appointment.

Second Principle for Patients

Health Murphy’s Laws Magazines

There’s an unseen force which lets birds know when you’ve just washed your car.

Denis Norden

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter

Autos Murphy’s Laws Things Birds

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.

Kierkegaard's Observation

Life Murphy’s Laws Time Advice

Any paint, regardless of quality or composition, will adhere permanently to any surface, prepared or otherwise, if applied accidentally.

Minton's Law of Painting

Murphy’s Laws Things On painter J. M. W. Turner's ‘The Slave Ship'

Whenever a superstar is traded to your favorite team, he fades. Whenever your team trades away a useless no-name, he immediately rises to stardom.

Knox's Principle of Star Quality

Failure Murphy’s Laws Sports Success

One man's red tape is another man's system.

Waldo's Observation

Murphy’s Laws Red Tape

History does not repeat itself; historians simply repeat each other.

History Murphy’s Laws Time Historians Otto Bettman

The first pull on the cord ALWAYS sends the drapes in the wrong direction.

Boyle's Other Law

Murphy’s Laws Things Drapes

No matter which side of door the cat or dog is on, it's the wrong side.

Pet Principle

Animals Cats Dogs Murphy’s Laws Doors

When the enemy is closing, the artillery will always be long

A Murphy's Military Law

Military Murphy’s Laws Artillery

It is the essence of grantsmanship to persuade the foundation executives that it was they who suggested the research project and that you were a belated convert, agreeing reluctantly to all they had proposed.

Parkinson's Principle of Non-Origination

Murphy’s Laws Research grants

Good times end too quickly. Bad times go on forever.

Tracey's Time Observation

Life Murphy’s Laws Situations Time

Nature abhors people.

Thine's Law

Murphy’s Laws People Nature

The stomach expands to accommodate the amount of junk food available.

Fiske's Teenage Corollary to Parkinson's Law

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Junk food Stomach

The mountain gets steeper as you get closer.
Frothingham’s Corollary: The mountain looks closer than it is.

Michehl’s Rule for Prospective Mountain Climbers

Murphy’s Laws Difficulties Mountains Proximity

You can't push on a rope.

Meadow's Maxim

Murphy’s Laws

Spend sufficient time confirming the need and the need will disappear.

Ed's Fifth Rule of Procrastination

Murphy’s Laws Time Confirmation Needs

Hot glass looks the same as cold glass.

Dominic Cirino's Law of Burnt Fingers

Murphy’s Laws Glass Temperature

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 63)

Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.

A liar should have a good memory.

Less is more.

The more boring and out-of-date the magazines in the waiting room, the longer you will have to wait for your scheduled appointment.

There’s an unseen force which lets birds know when you’ve just washed your car.

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.

Any paint, regardless of quality or composition, will adhere permanently to any surface, prepared or otherwise, if applied accidentally.

Whenever a superstar is traded to your favorite team, he fades. Whenever your team trades away a useless no-name, he immediately rises to stardom.

One man's red tape is another man's system.

History does not repeat itself; historians simply repeat each other.

The first pull on the cord ALWAYS sends the drapes in the wrong direction.

No matter which side of door the cat or dog is on, it's the wrong side.

When the enemy is closing, the artillery will always be long

It is the essence of grantsmanship to persuade the foundation executives that it was they who suggested the research project and that you were a belated convert, agreeing reluctantly to all they had proposed.

Good times end too quickly. Bad times go on forever.

Nature abhors people.

The stomach expands to accommodate the amount of junk food available.

The mountain gets steeper as you get closer.
Frothingham’s Corollary: The mountain looks closer than it is.

You can't push on a rope.

Spend sufficient time confirming the need and the need will disappear.

Hot glass looks the same as cold glass.