Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 72)

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

Aunt Emmie’s First Law

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems Things Cigarette From Owen Elliott’s Aunt Emmie

If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.

A Murphy's Military Law

Military Murphy’s Laws Ambushes

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Martin-Berthelot Principle

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech Bureaucracy Committees

The less you do, the less can go wrong.

Law of Retroaction

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Some days it's better to stay in bed.

Newton's First Law

Murphy’s Laws

The incidence of anything worthwhile is either 15-25 percent or 80-90 percent.

LaCombe's Rule of Percentages

Murphy’s Laws Situations Odds

If you’re early, it’ll be cancelled. If you knock yourself out to be on time, you will have to wait. If you’re late, you will be too late.

Luposchainsky's Hurry-Up-And-Wait Principle

Murphy’s Laws Time

1. When in charge ponder
2. When in trouble delegate
3. When in doubt mumble.

Boren's Laws for Bureaucrats

Murphy’s Laws Speech Bureaucracy James Boren

Secrecy is the enemy of efficiency, but don’t let anyone know it.

Beville’s Rule of Secrecy in Business

Murphy’s Laws Richard Beville Secrecy

When the camera focuses on a male athlete he will spit, pick or scratch.

Wagner's Law of Sports Coverage

Murphy’s Laws Sports Athletes

The easy way is always mined.

A Murphy's Military Law

Military Murphy’s Laws Mines

Negative expectation thwarts realization, and self-congratulation guarantees disaster. (Or, simply put… if you think of it, it won't happen quite that way.)

Thwartz's Theorem of Low Profile

Murphy’s Laws Expectations

Nearly all prophecies made in public are wrong.

Turner's Law

Murphy’s Laws Situations Prophecies

Any fool can make a rule, and every fool will mind it.

Thoreau's Rule

Murphy’s Laws Rules

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 72)

If there are two possible ways to spell a person’s name, you will pick the wrong spelling.

The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance.

Anything dropped in the bathroom falls in the toilet.

If the probability of success is not almost one, then it is damn near zero.

Things are more like they are now than they have ever been before.

No experiment is reproducible.

The longer the title, the less important the job.

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

The less you do, the less can go wrong.

Some days it's better to stay in bed.

The incidence of anything worthwhile is either 15-25 percent or 80-90 percent.

If you’re early, it’ll be cancelled. If you knock yourself out to be on time, you will have to wait. If you’re late, you will be too late.

1. When in charge ponder
2. When in trouble delegate
3. When in doubt mumble.

Secrecy is the enemy of efficiency, but don’t let anyone know it.

When the camera focuses on a male athlete he will spit, pick or scratch.

The easy way is always mined.

Negative expectation thwarts realization, and self-congratulation guarantees disaster. (Or, simply put… if you think of it, it won't happen quite that way.)

Nearly all prophecies made in public are wrong.

Any fool can make a rule, and every fool will mind it.