Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 75)

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When all else fails, follow instructions.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Rule A: Don’t.

Rule A1: Rule A doesn’t exist.

Rule A2: Do not discuss the existence or non-existence of Rules A, A1, or A2.

(1927 – 1989) Scottish psychiatrist
Murphy’s Laws

1. Anyone else who can be blamed should be blamed. 2. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong faster with computers. 3. Whenever a computer can be blamed, it should be blamed.

Computers Murphy’s Laws

A 60-day warranty guarantees that the product will self-destruct on the 61st day.

Murphy’s Laws Things

If you haven’t struck oil in twenty minutes, quit boring.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

If a taxpayer thinks he can cheat safely, he probably will.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

1. You can get “anywhere” in ten minutes if you go fast enough.
2. Speed bumps are of negligible effect when the vehicle exceeds triple the desired restraining speed.
3. The vehicle in front of you is traveling slower than you are.
4. This lane ends in 500 feet.

Activities Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws Travel

Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

Winners tell funny stories; losers holler "Deal!"

Murphy’s Laws People

No matter how strong the breeze when you leave the dock, once you have reached the furthest point from port the wind will die.

Murphy’s Laws Sports

Never let your studies interfere with your education.

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws School

A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never sure.

Murphy’s Laws Things Time

1. Get elected
2. Get re-elected
3. Don’t get mad, get even.

Anger Elections/Voting Emotions Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians

Anytime you wish to demonstrate something, the number of faults is proportional to the number of viewers.

Murphy’s Laws People Problems

Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

If your next pot of chili tastes better, it probably is because of something left out, rather than added.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

You never want the one you can afford.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Anyone having supervisory responsibility for the completion of a task will invariably protest that more resources are needed.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Bodies in motion tend to remain in motion; bodies at rest tend to remain in bed.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Them what gets – has.

Murphy’s Laws People

The cream rises to the top. So does the scum.

Murphy’s Laws