Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 78)

View All Murphys Laws

The fewer functions any device is required to perform, the more perfectly it can perform those functions.

Murphy’s Laws Things

1. The last gas station for 50 miles will be closed when you get there. 2. At the moment of any departure, the level of gas in your tank depends entirely on how late you are. 3. You only run out of gas after your wife tells you to stop for gas before you run out.

Autos Murphy’s Laws

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

Government Murphy’s Laws

A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.

Murphy’s Laws

No matter how many alterations, cheap pants never fit.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws

Cut to fit – beat into place.

Murphy’s Laws

The first time you go out after your wife’s birthday, you will see the gift you gave her marked down fifty percent.
Corollary: If she’s with you, she’ll assume you chose it because it was cheap.

Husbands Money Murphy’s Laws Shopping Wives

When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place

Corollary: After the correction has been found in error, it will be impossible to fit the original quantity back into the equation.

Ideas Intelligence Mistakes Murphy’s Laws

It requires less energy to take an object out of its proper place than to put it back.

Murphy’s Laws

A place you want to get to is always just off the edge of the map you happen to have handy.

Murphy’s Laws Things

Among economists, the real world is often a special case.

Murphy’s Laws

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

The time it takes to rectify a situation is inversely proportional to the time it took to do the damage.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you Can't Fool Mom.

Mothers Murphy’s Laws People

There are more horses’ asses in this world than there are horses.

Animals Murphy’s Laws People

No matter which side of door the cat or dog is on, it's the wrong side.

Animals Cats Dogs Murphy’s Laws

Murphy’s Law only fails when you try to demonstrate it.


Failure Murphy’s Laws

If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.

Murphy’s Laws Things

If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

A pair of scissors should be a true pair; the second pair is to be used in place of the pair that is never where it is always supposed to be.

Murphy’s Laws Things

Things hate people.

Murphy’s Laws People Things