Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 8)

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Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction — from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

Variables won't, constants aren't.

Murphy’s Laws

If you drop a full can of beer, and remember to rap the top sharply with your knuckle prior to opening, the ensuing gush of foam will be between 89 and 94 percent of the volume that would splatter you if you didn't do a damned thing and went ahead and pulled the top immediately.

Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Situations

There is more law in the end of a policeman’s nightstick than in a decision of the Supreme Court.

Government Law Murphy’s Laws

Expressways aren’t.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Things

A prerequisite for a desired course will be offered only during the following semester.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

Negative expectation thwarts realization, and self-congratulation guarantees disaster. (Or, simply put… if you think of it, it won't happen quite that way.)

Murphy’s Laws

When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.

Corollary: Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

The one piece that the plant forgot to ship is the one that supports 75% of the balance of the shipment.

Murphy’s Laws Things

No matter how thin you slice it, it's still baloney.

Murphy’s Laws

Murphy’s Law only fails when you try to demonstrate it.


Failure Murphy’s Laws

Anyone taken as an individual is tolerably sensible and reasonable – as a member of a crowd, he at once becomes a blockhead.

Fools Individuals Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People

You are always complimented on the item that took the least effort to prepare. Example: If you make roast turkey, you will be complimented on the baked potato.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

All things being equal, you lose.
Corollary: All things being in your favor, you still lose.

Murphy’s Laws

A little ambiguity never hurt anyone.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Murphy’s Laws

Whenever A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or improving X, A is a scoundrel.

Characteristics Conflict Murphy’s Laws

An unbreakable toy is good for breaking other toys.

Murphy’s Laws Things

Progress is made on alternate Fridays.

Murphy’s Laws

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

Clothing Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

The first example of superior principle is always inferior to the developed example of inferior principle.

Murphy’s Laws