Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 80)

Kickbacks must always exceed bribes.

The person with the least expertise has the most opinions.

A committee is the only life form with 12 stomachs and no brain.

Mankind is divisible into two great classes: hosts and guests.

Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.

Whatever you did, that's what you planned.

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn’t have to do it himself.

1. Any line, however short, is still too long.
2. Work is the crabgrass of life, but money is the water that keeps it green.

Experience enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

When things just can't possibly get any worse, they will.

Nobody notices when things go right.

Progress is made on alternate Fridays.

There is no substitute for good manners… except, perhaps, fast reflexes.

Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who don't.

There comes a time when one must stop suggesting and evaluating new solutions, and get on with the job of analyzing and finally implementing one pretty good solution.

You have taken yourself too seriously.

Officials make work for each other.

A biscuit takes up moisture when it goes stale and becomes limp; a cake loses moisture and becomes hard.

Your wife's stored possessions will always be on top of your stored possessions.

If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical methods.