Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 80)

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No matter what goes wrong, there’s always someone who will say he knew it would.

Murphy’s Laws People Problems

The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours before.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

If you can’t navigate a one-level, five-item phone tree, you didn’t need a computer anyway.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Things

Every day, in every way, things get better and better; then worse again in the evening.

Murphy’s Laws

The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions:
1. When you’re ready for them. 2. When you’re not ready for them.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Nine times out of ten in the arts, as in life, there is actually no truth to be discovered; there is only error to be exposed.

Entertainment Murphy’s Laws

At a bargain sale, the only suit or dress that you like best and that fits you is the one not in the sale.

Activities Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shopping

When you need to knock on wood is when you realize that the world is composed of vinyl, naugahyde and aluminum.

Murphy’s Laws

Performance is directly affected by the perversity of inanimate objects.

Murphy’s Laws Success Things

Always remember that you are absolutely unique, just like everyone else.

Murphy’s Laws People Self

A biscuit takes up moisture when it goes stale and becomes limp; a cake loses moisture and becomes hard.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.

Money Murphy’s Laws

A man should be greater than some of his parts.

Murphy’s Laws People

It always takes longer to get there than to get back.

Murphy’s Laws Time Travel

Anyone taken as an individual is tolerably sensible and reasonable – as a member of a crowd, he at once becomes a blockhead.

Fools Individuals Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People

There is only one thing worse than dreaming you are at a conference and waking to find that you are at a conference, and that is the conference where you can't fall asleep.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Sleep

If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

Murphy’s Laws

Those who rise to executive positions lack the qualifications for anything lower.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Before ordering a test, decide what you will do if it is (1) positive or (2) negative. If both answers are the same, don't take the test.

Murphy’s Laws

The workbench is always untidier than last time. General Law: The chaos in the universe always increases.

Murphy’s Laws

Copying machines mangle only important documents.
Corollary: If a machine goes wild and runs off 180 copies, it will do so only when you are copying a personal letter.

Murphy’s Laws