Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 83)

The price of any product produced for a government agency will be not less than the square of the initial Firm Fixed-Price Contract.

Connolly's Law of Cost Control

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Contracts Prices

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Hanlon's Razor

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Stupidity Malice Robert J. Hanlon

If, while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment is glutted.

Marguerite Emmons

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws School Employment Qualifications

All warranty and guarantee clauses are rendered void on payment of the invoice.

Klipstein's Lament

Money Murphy’s Laws Guarantees Payment Warranties

The more qualified candidates who are available, the more likely the compromise will be on the candidate whose main qualification is a non-threatening incompetence.

Cohen's Law of Competition

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws Candidates Incompetence

There’s an unseen force which lets birds know when you’ve just washed your car.

Denis Norden

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter

Autos Murphy’s Laws Things Birds

Gravity is a contributing factor in 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Dave Barry

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems Gravity

Some mistakes are too fun to make only once.

Beers Law of Reciprocating Systems Dynamics

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems David L. Beers

When a person with experience meets a person with money, the person with experience will get the money and the person with the money will get some experience.

Lauder's Law

Money Murphy’s Laws Experience

There is no substitute for good manners… except, perhaps, fast reflexes.

Scott's Second Law of Parties

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Behavior Manners Reflexes

Don’t ever be the first, don’t ever be the last and don’t ever volunteer to do anything.

A Murphy's Military Law

Military Murphy’s Laws Volunteering

The only time to be positive is when you are positive you are wrong.

Holten's Homily

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws Positive Wrong

No matter what stage of completion one reaches, the cost of the remainder of the project remains constant.

Sixth Law of Project Management

Murphy’s Laws

If anything can go wrong it will go wrong when Mr. Murphy is out of town.

Mrs. Murphy's Law

Murphy’s Laws

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 83)

The more complicated and grandiose the plan, the greater the chance of a screw-up.

If the enemy is in range, so are you!

Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.

All general statements are false.

Once the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

Claim victory and retreat.

There are those who don't even like to be rubbed the right way.

The price of any product produced for a government agency will be not less than the square of the initial Firm Fixed-Price Contract.

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

If, while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment is glutted.

All warranty and guarantee clauses are rendered void on payment of the invoice.

The more qualified candidates who are available, the more likely the compromise will be on the candidate whose main qualification is a non-threatening incompetence.

There’s an unseen force which lets birds know when you’ve just washed your car.

Gravity is a contributing factor in 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Some mistakes are too fun to make only once.

When a person with experience meets a person with money, the person with experience will get the money and the person with the money will get some experience.

There is no substitute for good manners… except, perhaps, fast reflexes.

Don’t ever be the first, don’t ever be the last and don’t ever volunteer to do anything.

The only time to be positive is when you are positive you are wrong.

No matter what stage of completion one reaches, the cost of the remainder of the project remains constant.

If anything can go wrong it will go wrong when Mr. Murphy is out of town.