Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 83)

1. The length of stay of out-of-town guests is inversely proportional to their desirability. 2. There are three absolute maxims for the handyman – your garden hose, extension cord and ladder are always too short.

Envelopes and stamps which don't stick when you lick them will stick to other things when you don't want them to.

The best simple-minded test of expertise in a particular area is the ability to win money in a series of bets on future occurrences in that area.

If you drop a full can of beer, and remember to rap the top sharply with your knuckle prior to opening, the ensuing gush of foam will be between 89 and 94 percent of the volume that would splatter you if you didn't do a damned thing and went ahead and pulled the top immediately.

Don't ever stand up to be counted or someone will take your seat.

Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.

If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number.

If, while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment is glutted.


When in the course of human affairs – your spouse always finds out.

Changing things is central to leadership, and changing them before anyone else is creativeness.

The quality of a champagne is judged by the amount of noise the cork makes when it is popped.

The length of a meeting rises with the square of the number of people present.

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
Corollary: Corresponding errors will show up in the duplicate while the boss is reading it.

The customer is always ripe.

The only way a reporter should look at a politician is down.

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

If you do something which you are sure will meet with everybody's approval, somebody won't like it.

Experts in advanced countries underestimate by a factor of 2 to 4 the ability of people in underdeveloped countries to do anything technical.

It's bad luck to be superstititious.

If you can’t get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up.