Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 85)

Nothing with a plug on it, nothing worn directly next to the skin, no clothing that will turn out to be too small rather than too big, and nothing that you actually want for yourself and are trying to disguise as a gift.

May’s Law of Male Present-Giving

Men Murphy’s Laws People Things Women Gifts James May

No matter which side of door the cat or dog is on, it's the wrong side.

Pet Principle

Animals Cats Dogs Murphy’s Laws Doors

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
Corollary: Corresponding errors will show up in the duplicate while the boss is reading it.

First Law of Office Murphology

Communication Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems Letters

The only people making money these days are the ones who sell computer paper.

Wain's Conclusion

Computers Money Murphy’s Laws Things

No matter how early you arrive, someone else is in line first.

Heid's Law of Lines

Murphy’s Laws Lines

When the product is destined to fail, the delivery system will perform perfectly.

Boyle’s Second Law

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

All bridge hands are equally likely, but some are more equally likely than others.

Orwell's Law of Bridge

Activities Games Murphy’s Laws Bridge Cards

Enough is never enough.

Richman's Inevitables of Parenthood I

Children Murphy’s Laws Situations Enough

Any device requiring service or adjustment will be least accessible.

Snafu Equation III

Murphy’s Laws Things Maintenance

The sumptuousnss of a company's annual report is in inverse proportion to its profitability that year.

Hale's Rule

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing Business

To make an enemy, do someone a favor.

McClaughry's Codicil on Jones's Motto

Murphy’s Laws People Enemies Favor

Politicians who vote huge expenditures to alleviate problems get re-elected; those who propose structural changes to prevent problems get early retirement.

McClaughry's Law of Public Policy

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Politicians

Nobody notices when things go right.

Zimmerman's Law of Complaints

Murphy’s Laws People Success

Fortify your front; you’ll get your rear shot up.

A Murphy's Military Law

Military Murphy’s Laws

Information travels more surely to those with a lesser need to know.

Anonymous

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People Information

When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Panic Instruction

Murphy’s Laws Panic Walk fast

Competence always contains the seed of incompetence.

Peter's Law of Evolution

Murphy’s Laws Competency

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.

Jones's Law

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Blame Smiling

In matters of dispute, the bank's balance is always smaller than yours.

Checkbook Balancer's Law

Money Murphy’s Laws Banks

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 85)

An original idea can never emerge from committee in the original.

The best shots are generally attempted through the lens cap.

Nothing with a plug on it, nothing worn directly next to the skin, no clothing that will turn out to be too small rather than too big, and nothing that you actually want for yourself and are trying to disguise as a gift.

No matter which side of door the cat or dog is on, it's the wrong side.

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
Corollary: Corresponding errors will show up in the duplicate while the boss is reading it.

The only people making money these days are the ones who sell computer paper.

No matter how early you arrive, someone else is in line first.

When the product is destined to fail, the delivery system will perform perfectly.

All bridge hands are equally likely, but some are more equally likely than others.

Enough is never enough.

Any device requiring service or adjustment will be least accessible.

The sumptuousnss of a company's annual report is in inverse proportion to its profitability that year.

To make an enemy, do someone a favor.

Politicians who vote huge expenditures to alleviate problems get re-elected; those who propose structural changes to prevent problems get early retirement.

Nobody notices when things go right.

Fortify your front; you’ll get your rear shot up.

Information travels more surely to those with a lesser need to know.

When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Competence always contains the seed of incompetence.

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.

In matters of dispute, the bank's balance is always smaller than yours.