Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 85)

If there are twelve clowns in a ring, you can jump in the middle and start reciting Shakespeare, but to the audience, you'll just be the thirteenth clown.

Walinsky's First Law of Political Campaigns

Murphy’s Laws People Clowns Groups

Office machines that function perfectly during normal business hours will break down when you return at night to use them for personal business.

Second Law of Office Murphology

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Things Office machines

A meeting lasts at least 1 1/2 hours, however short the agenda.

Parson's Third Law

Murphy’s Laws Time Agendas Meetings

If you do a job twice, it’s yours.

Shanebrook’s Law

Murphy’s Laws Work J. Richard Shanebrook

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Anonymous

Beliefs Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Proverbs Listening

If you wait, it will go away.

Hellrung's Law

Murphy’s Laws Time

Any bus that can be the wrong bus will be the wrong bus. All others are out of service or full.

Corcoroni's Sixth Law of Bus Transportation

Murphy’s Laws Problems Buses Transportation

Every silver lining has a cloud.

Spat’s Restatement

Murphy’s Laws

Anyone who makes a significant contribution to any field of endeavor, and stays in that field long enough, becomes an obstruction to its progress – in direct proportion to the importance of their original contribution.

Jones's First Law

Murphy’s Laws Progress

The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front of your eyes.

Drew's Law of Highway Entomology

Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws Things Bugs Windshield

Expansion means complexity; and complexity decay.

Parkinson's Third Law

Murphy’s Laws Complexity Expansion

There is no such thing as a short beer. (As in, "I'm going to stop off at Joe's for a short beer on the way home.")

Jinny's Law

Beer Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place

Corollary: After the correction has been found in error, it will be impossible to fit the original quantity back into the equation.

Scott's Second Law

Ideas Intelligence Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Corrections Equations Errors

If you take something apart and put it back together enough times, eventually you will have two of them.

Rap's Law of Inanimate Reproduction

Murphy’s Laws Assembly

It (housework) expands to fill the time available plus half an hour: so obviously it is never finished.

Conran's Law of Housework

Housework Murphy’s Laws

Never make a decision that you can get someone else to make.

Pfeifer's Principle

Murphy’s Laws Decisions

Never argue with a fool… people might not know the difference.

First Law of Debate

Fools Murphy’s Laws Arguing

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 85)

Last year's was always better.

If there are only two shows worth watching, they will be on at the same time.

The last rush-hour express bus to your neighborhood leaves five minutes before you get off work.

The job that pays the most will be offered when there is no time to deliver the services.

If there are twelve clowns in a ring, you can jump in the middle and start reciting Shakespeare, but to the audience, you'll just be the thirteenth clown.

Office machines that function perfectly during normal business hours will break down when you return at night to use them for personal business.

A meeting lasts at least 1 1/2 hours, however short the agenda.

If you do a job twice, it’s yours.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

If you wait, it will go away.

Any bus that can be the wrong bus will be the wrong bus. All others are out of service or full.

Every silver lining has a cloud.

Anyone who makes a significant contribution to any field of endeavor, and stays in that field long enough, becomes an obstruction to its progress – in direct proportion to the importance of their original contribution.

The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front of your eyes.

Expansion means complexity; and complexity decay.

There is no such thing as a short beer. (As in, "I'm going to stop off at Joe's for a short beer on the way home.")

When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place

Corollary: After the correction has been found in error, it will be impossible to fit the original quantity back into the equation.

If you take something apart and put it back together enough times, eventually you will have two of them.

It (housework) expands to fill the time available plus half an hour: so obviously it is never finished.

Never make a decision that you can get someone else to make.

Never argue with a fool… people might not know the difference.