Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 86)

1. Giving away baby clothes and furniture is a major cause of pregnancy. 2. Always be backlit. 3. Sit down whenever possible.

The chances of anybody doing anything are inversely proportional to the number of other people who are in a position to do it instead.

The world is more complicated than most of our theories make it out to be.

If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical methods.

The most undesirable things are the most certain (death and taxes).

If you find something you like buy a lifetime supply – they’re going to stop making it.

No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war.

No matter which side of door the cat or dog is on, it's the wrong side.

The specialist learns more and more about less and less until, finally, he knows everything about nothing; whereas the generalist learns less and less about more and more until, finally, he knows nothing about everything.

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

When working on a project, if you put away a tool that you're certain you're finished with, you will need it instantly.

If you drop a full can of beer, and remember to rap the top sharply with your knuckle prior to opening, the ensuing gush of foam will be between 89 and 94 percent of the volume that would splatter you if you didn't do a damned thing and went ahead and pulled the top immediately.

The idea is to die young as late as possible.

He who laughs first, laughs last… if nobody laughs in the middle.

The most difficult light bulb to replace burns out first and most frequently.

No boss will keep an employee who is right all the time.

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

The Cavalry doesn’t always come to the rescue.

You always find something in the last place you look.

If you have something to do and you put it off for long enough, the chances are someone else will do it for you.