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humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Murphy’s Laws
(Page 9)
View All Murphys Laws
In matters of dispute, the bank's balance is always smaller than yours.
Checkbook Balancer's Law
Money
Murphy’s Laws
Banks
20% of the customers account for 80% of the turnover, 20% of the components account for 80% of the cost, and so forth.
Pareto's Law (The 20/80 Law)
Murphy’s Laws
Business
Customers
When all else fails, follow instructions.
Allen's Axiom
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Instructions
Birthday parties always end in tears.
Richman's Inevitables of Parenthood III
Children
Murphy’s Laws
Situations
Birthdays
Neutral countries – aren’t.
A Murphy's Military Law
Government
Military
Murphy’s Laws
Places
The first sample is always the best.
Sells's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Samples
The best shots are generally attempted through the lens cap.
Second Law of Photography
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Cameras
Lens cap
Office machines that function perfectly during normal business hours will break down when you return at night to use them for personal business.
Second Law of Office Murphology
Failure
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Things
Office machines
Murphy's Law was not propounded by Murphy, but by another man with the same name.
Law of Murphy's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Someone else
If “sense” is so common, how come we don’t see more of it around?
Bishop’s Query
Intelligence
Murphy’s Laws
C.B. Bishop
Common sense
There is always a way… and it usually doesn’t work.
Anonymous Murphy’s Law
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
There's no such thing as a large whiskey.
Rev. Mahaffy's Observation
Alcohol
Food/Drink
Murphy’s Laws
Whiskey
Don't use a run-on sentence you got to punctuate it.
The 19 Rules for Good Riting - 10
Communication
Language
Murphy’s Laws
Reading/Writing
In America, it's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save.
Paulg's Law
America
Murphy’s Laws
Shopping
Cost
Savings
You can throw a burnt match out the window of your car and start a forest fire, but you can use two boxes of matches and a whole edition of the Sunday paper without being able to start a fire under the dry logs in your fireplace.
Gumperson's – Corollary III
Murphy’s Laws
Situations
Starting a fire
When in doubt, empty the magazine.
A Murphy's Military Law
Arms
Military
Murphy’s Laws
Ammunition
1. Anything done while honking your horn is legal.
2. You may park anywhere if you turn your four-way flashers on.
3. A red light means the next six cars may go through the intersection.
Rules for driving in New York
Autos
Driving
Murphy’s Laws
New York City
Places
Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.
Billings's Law
Money
Murphy’s Laws
It’s easy to tell when you’ve got a bargain – it doesn’t fit.
Adam’s Corollary to Eve’s Discovery
Activities
Clothing
Murphy’s Laws
Shopping
Bargains
A $300 picture tube will protect a 10¢ fuse by blowing first.
Electronic theorem of television sets
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Breakage
Expense
No matter how many rooms there are in the motel, the fellow who starts up his car at five o’clock in the morning is always parked under your window.
Second Law of Travel
Activities
Murphy’s Laws
Travel
Motels
Page 9 of 88
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