Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 9)

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

There is no substitute for good manners… except, perhaps, fast reflexes.

Scott's Second Law of Parties

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Behavior Manners Reflexes

The more complicated and grandiose the plan, the greater the chance of a screw-up.

Knagg’s Law

Murphy’s Laws Plans

Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction — from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work.

Programmers' Wisdom

Computers Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things Programming

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Man In The Street Law

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People Stupidity Observation

The number of laws will expand to fill the publishing space available.

Digiovanni’s Law

Murphy’s Laws

Negative expectations yield negative results; positive expectations yield negative results.

Non-Reciprocal Law of Expectations

Murphy’s Laws Expectations

If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.

Chisholm's Second Corollary

Murphy’s Laws

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.

Churchill's Commentary on Man

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Truth

The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it.

Law of the Search

Murphy’s Laws Places Things

Confusion creates jobs.

Hoffstedt's Employment Principle

Murphy’s Laws Work Confusion Employment

The more cordial the buyer’s secretary, the greater the odds that the competition already has the order.

Anonymous Murphy's Law

Murphy’s Laws Business Competition Secretaries

A committee of three gets things done if two don’t show up.

Anonymous

Murphy’s Laws People Committees

Truth varies.

Rule of Political Promises

Characteristics Government Honesty Murphy’s Laws Politics Truth

Never create a problem for which you do not have the answer.

Corollary: Create problems for which only you have the answer.

Burke’s Rule

Murphy’s Laws Problems Answers

Don't ever eat yellow snow.

The Skier's Rumination

Murphy’s Laws

Whatever a parent does is wrong.

Papa Rich's Conclusion

Failure Family Murphy’s Laws Parents Problems Young

Experts in advanced countries underestimate by a factor of 2 to 4 the ability of people in underdeveloped countries to do anything technical.

Issawi's Law of Estimation of Error

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Places Capabilities Underdeveloped countries

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 9)

Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

Statistics are no substitute for common sense.

Only someone who understands something absolutely can explain it so no one else can understand it.

The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.

There is no substitute for good manners… except, perhaps, fast reflexes.

The more complicated and grandiose the plan, the greater the chance of a screw-up.

Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction — from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

The number of laws will expand to fill the publishing space available.

Negative expectations yield negative results; positive expectations yield negative results.

If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.

The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it.

Confusion creates jobs.

The more cordial the buyer’s secretary, the greater the odds that the competition already has the order.

A committee of three gets things done if two don’t show up.

Truth varies.

Never create a problem for which you do not have the answer.

Corollary: Create problems for which only you have the answer.

Don't ever eat yellow snow.

Whatever a parent does is wrong.

Experts in advanced countries underestimate by a factor of 2 to 4 the ability of people in underdeveloped countries to do anything technical.