Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Murphy’s Laws
(Page 9)
View All Murphys Laws
No matter how many hot dogs you consume at home, they always taste better at the ball park.
Oscar Mayer's Creed
Food/Drink
Murphy’s Laws
Hot Dogs
Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
Tussman's Law
Mistakes
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Inevitable
Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.
Computer Programmer's Lament
Computers
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Programming
Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
The Nudist Colony Rule
Murphy’s Laws
Situations
Nudists
Only a mediocre person is always at his best.
Maugham's Thought
Characteristics
Murphy’s Laws
Mediocrity
No experiment is ever a complete failure – it can always serve as a negative example.
Futility Factor
Failure
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Experiments
No experiment is reproducible.
Wyszowski's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Science/Weather
Experiments
Reproducible
Never try to replicate a successful experiment.
Fett's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Experiments
Things go right so they can go wrong.
Maahs's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.
Aunt Emmie’s First Law
Murphy’s Laws
From Owen Elliott’s Aunt Emmie
Smoking
The one who snores will fall asleep first.
Proverb
Murphy’s Laws
Proverbs
Sleep
Snoring
Success means only doing what you do well, letting someone else do the rest.
Goldstein's Truism
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Work
When a person says that, in the interest of saving time, he will summarize his prepared statement, he will talk only three times as long as if he had read the statement in the first place.
Otten's Law of Testimony
Communication
Murphy’s Laws
Speech
Time
Summarizing
Envelopes and stamps which don't stick when you lick them will stick to other things when you don't want them to.
Fourth Law of Office Murphology
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Things
Envelopes
Stamps
In an underdeveloped country, don't drink the water; in a developed country, don't breathe the air.
Jonathan Raban
(1942 – ) British travel writer & novelist
Murphy’s Laws
Places
also Law of Nations
Water
If you play with anything long enough, it will break.
Zahner's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Time
Break
Never, ever, fly on the airline of the country from which you are departing.
Litzler's Law of International Travel
Murphy’s Laws
Places
Travel
Airlines
No boss will keep an employee who is right all the time.
Pitfall of Genius
Murphy’s Laws
Bosses
Employees
Recoilless rifles – aren’t.
A Murphy's Military Law
Arms
Military
Murphy’s Laws
Recoilless rifle
Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors, or until someone insists on getting some useful work done.
Glib's Fourth Law of Unreliability
Murphy’s Laws
Reliability
A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth.
Trischmann's Paradox (Axiom of the Pipe)
Fools
Murphy’s Laws
Wisdom
Pipes
Page 9 of 88
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