Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 9)

If you're confident after you've just finished an exam, it's because you don't know enough to know better.

Weisman's Law of Examinations

Education Intelligence Murphy’s Laws School Exams Jay Weisman

McGurk's Law

Murphy’s Laws Confusion Improbable events

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

Diner's Dilemma

Clothing Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Soup Ties

The effectiveness of a telephone conversation is in inverse proportion to the time spent on it.

Parkinson's Law of the Telephone

Communication Conversation Murphy’s Laws Time Telephone

When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue.

Merkin's Maxim

Murphy’s Laws Trends

The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

Papagiannis’s Law

Murphy’s Laws (Michael Papagiannis) Evidence

Automatic weapons – aren’t.

A Murphy's Military Law

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

The gifts you buy your wife are never as appropriate as the gifts your neighbor buys his wife.

Murphy's Third Law for Husbands

Husbands Murphy’s Laws Shopping Wives Gifts Neighbors

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Zadra's Law of Biomechanics

Murphy’s Laws Itches

Never throw away anything unless you know what it came from.

Rawson's Second Law

Murphy’s Laws Things (Hugh Rawson) Parts

If it would be cheaper to buy a new unit, the company will insist upon repairing the old one.
Corollary: If it would be cheaper to repair the old one, the company will insist on the latest model.

Jaruk's Second Law

Murphy’s Laws Purchases Repairs

No politician talks taxes during an election year.

First Political Principle

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians Taxes

If a taxpayer thinks he can cheat safely, he probably will.

Diogenes's Second Dictum

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes Cheating

Even paranoids have enemies.

Pastore's Truth

Murphy’s Laws People (Also Delmore Schwartz) Enemies Paranoia

If you knew what you were doing you'd probably be bored.

Fresco's Discovery

Murphy’s Laws Boredom Competence

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

Aunt Emmie’s First Law

Murphy’s Laws From Owen Elliott’s Aunt Emmie Smoking

The length of any meeting is inversely proportional to the length of the agenda for that meeting.

McLaughlin's Law (see Parson's Third Law)

Murphy’s Laws Time Meetings

If you can't learn to do it well, you should learn to enjoy doing it badly.

Ashleigh's First Law

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws Success

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

Billings's Law

Money Murphy’s Laws

The most undesirable things are the most certain (death and taxes).

Gumperson's Proof

Death Murphy’s Laws Problems Taxes Certainty

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 9)

Digestion is the great secret of life.

If you're confident after you've just finished an exam, it's because you don't know enough to know better.

McGurk's Law

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

The effectiveness of a telephone conversation is in inverse proportion to the time spent on it.

When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue.

The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

Automatic weapons – aren’t.

The gifts you buy your wife are never as appropriate as the gifts your neighbor buys his wife.

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Never throw away anything unless you know what it came from.

If it would be cheaper to buy a new unit, the company will insist upon repairing the old one.
Corollary: If it would be cheaper to repair the old one, the company will insist on the latest model.

No politician talks taxes during an election year.

If a taxpayer thinks he can cheat safely, he probably will.

Even paranoids have enemies.

If you knew what you were doing you'd probably be bored.

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

The length of any meeting is inversely proportional to the length of the agenda for that meeting.

If you can't learn to do it well, you should learn to enjoy doing it badly.

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

The most undesirable things are the most certain (death and taxes).