Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 9)

In matters of dispute, the bank's balance is always smaller than yours.

20% of the customers account for 80% of the turnover, 20% of the components account for 80% of the cost, and so forth.

When all else fails, follow instructions.

Birthday parties always end in tears.

Neutral countries – aren’t.

The first sample is always the best.

The best shots are generally attempted through the lens cap.

Office machines that function perfectly during normal business hours will break down when you return at night to use them for personal business.

Murphy's Law was not propounded by Murphy, but by another man with the same name.

If “sense” is so common, how come we don’t see more of it around?

There is always a way… and it usually doesn’t work.

There's no such thing as a large whiskey.

Don't use a run-on sentence you got to punctuate it.

In America, it's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save.

You can throw a burnt match out the window of your car and start a forest fire, but you can use two boxes of matches and a whole edition of the Sunday paper without being able to start a fire under the dry logs in your fireplace.

When in doubt, empty the magazine.

1. Anything done while honking your horn is legal.
2. You may park anywhere if you turn your four-way flashers on.
3. A red light means the next six cars may go through the intersection.

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

It’s easy to tell when you’ve got a bargain – it doesn’t fit.

A $300 picture tube will protect a 10¢ fuse by blowing first.

No matter how many rooms there are in the motel, the fellow who starts up his car at five o’clock in the morning is always parked under your window.