Subject: People » Men

Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Appearance Clothing Men People Women

Thingy: Female Interpretation: Any part under a car’s hood; Male Interpretation: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.

Definitions Men Things Women

When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky… a woman already knows.

Dating Men People Sex Women

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.

(1931 – 2005) American actor
Age Men Old People

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Men Things Time Women

Sidesaddle: How men, rather than women, would ride in a truly logical world.

Definitions Men Women

Men in high levels of government seldom surf.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Activities Government Men Occupations People Work

Guys I’ve been meeting have the worst pickup lines, like: “Hey, what’s your friend’s name?”

(1977 – ) American comedian
Dating Men People Relationships

The number of women a man find attractive is truly proportionate to his age.

Age Men Murphy’s Laws People Women

A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that's subtraction.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men Money

Only a man who has loved a woman of genius can appreciate what happiness there is in loving a fool.

(1754 – 1838) French prime minister & diplomat
Fools Intelligence Marriage Men Women

Man forgives woman anything save the wit to outwit him.

(1861 – 1950) American writer
Intelligence Men People Women

Men are like chocolate bars: sweet, smooth, and heading straight for your hips.

Food/Drink Men People

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol Marriage Men

I’m at a point where I want a man in my life, but not in my house. Just come in, attach the VCR, and get out.

(1942 – ) American comedian, writer, actress & television host
Men People Relationships

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men, and I just want to say to the authors of that study "Duh."

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Communication Language Men People Women

When a man says he had pleasure with a woman he does not mean conversation.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Conversation Men People Sex Women

Optimist: The sort of man who marries his sister’s best friend.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Friends Marriage Men

You male corpses are all alike; never a thought for the woman who spent her life getting you into that grave.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter
Men TV/Movie Quotes

You guys have it so easy; you don't shave: it's sexy, it's a turn-on; we don't shave: it's birth control.

stand-up comedian
Men People Women

Perhaps men should think twice before making widowhood our only path to power.

(1934 – ) American feminist, journalist, & social & political activist
Death Men People Women