Subject: People » Men (Page 13)

When men reach their sixties and retire they go to pieces; women just go on cooking.


Age Men Old People Women

Men and women belong to different species, and communication between them is a science still in its infancy.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication Men People Science/Weather Women

Men get laid, but women get screwed.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Language Men People Sex Women

Nothing with a plug on it, nothing worn directly next to the skin, no clothing that will turn out to be too small rather than too big, and nothing that you actually want for yourself and are trying to disguise as a gift.

Men Murphy’s Laws People Things Women

Men – because of a tragic flaw – cannot see dirt until there is enough of it to support agriculture.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Housework Men People

Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex and men need to have sex to feel loved, so the basic act of continuing the species requires a lie from one of you.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Men People Sex Women

Some men are all right in their place… if they only knew the right places!

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men People Places

Any man who hates dogs and babies can’t be all bad.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Animals Dogs Men People

Behind every successful man, you’ll find a woman who has nothing to wear.

(1908 – 1997) American actor
Appearance Clothing Men People Success Women

Guys I’ve been meeting have the worst pickup lines, like: “Hey, what’s your friend’s name?”

(1977 – ) American comedian
Dating Men People Relationships

Three stages of sex in a man’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Definitions Men Sex

To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move… he’ll talk to you, I promise.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Men People

Some men are so macho they'll get you pregnant just to kill a rabbit.

Australian comedian & actress
Men People

If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Intelligence Men Thinking

Men don't get cellulite — God might just be a man.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Beliefs God Men

Men who drink herbal teas are seldom serial killers.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Conflict Killing Men People

All women dress like their mothers, that is their tragedy; no man ever does, that is his.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Appearance Clothing Men People Women

Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later, and for another thing, they die earlier.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Marriage Men Women

If it has genitals on the outside it’s hiding something on the inside.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Men People TV/Movie Quotes

Don’t marry a man to reform him; that’s what reform schools are for.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Marriage Men School

Penis: Part of the male anatomy which contains the brain.

Body Definitions Men