Subject: People (Page 100)

Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States.

(1895-1957) Canadian historian
America Canada People Places

Half the people you know are below average.

Characteristics People

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president
People Places Situations

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Men People Things

My general appearance, and especially my face, have always been a source of depression to me.

(1878 – 1931) Irish artist
Appearance People Self

The worst-tempered people I’ve ever met were the people who knew they were wrong.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
People

No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
People

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men People Relationships

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

(1917 – 1994) American writer
People Relationships

Men get laid, but women get screwed.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Language Men People Sex Women

Fish and visitors smell in three days.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals People Time

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
People Time

A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick; a youth with his first girl makes other people sick.

(1880 – ?) American author
Dating People Relationships

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Opinion People

If you take a oriental and turn him around so he faces west, does he become disoriented?


People Places

I stopped buying women’s magazines; the only time I ever see someone who looks like me is under the word ‘Before’.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Appearance Self

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.

(1978 – ) American actress, writer & comedian
Emotions Self

We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn't obey the rules.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Conflict Government People

A woman’s always younger than a man at equal years.

(1806 – 1861) English poet
Age Men People Women

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Fools Intelligence Mistakes People Problems

A woman who strives to be like a man lacks ambition.

Characteristics Men People Women