Subject: People (Page 101)

A woman in love can't be reasonable – or she probably wouldn't be in love.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Love Women

Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse… but enough about Kanye West.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
People Reviews/Criticism

My neighbor has a circular driveway… he can’t get out.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Friends Things

Men can read maps better than women… cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Men People Women

I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine… the staples covered everything!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body People Self

I had one guy at a gas station in New York say to me, “Hey, you look like that Hugh Grant… no offense.”

(1960 – ) English actor
Appearance People Self

Y Chromosome: The cause of virility, war, baldness, hockey, sex crimes, clever inventions and a disinclination to ask for directions when lost.

Definitions Men People

Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication People Places

Talking to the British about sex is like talking to Americans about reading; nobody does it so why talk about it?

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
England People Places Sex

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men, and I just want to say to the authors of that study "Duh."

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Communication Language Men People Women

A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician
Age Friends People

Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Activities Clothing Sex Things Women

I installed a skylight in my apartment…. the people who live above me are furious!

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
People Things

The more underdeveloped the country, the more overdeveloped the women.

Appearance Body Murphy’s Laws Places Women World

The Americans are a funny lot; they drink whiskey to keep them warm, then they put ice in it to make it cool; then they put some sugar in it to make it sweet and then they put a slice of lemon in it to make it sour, then they say, “Here’s to you” and drink it themselves.

(1904 – 1976) Indian politician
America People Places

The best audience is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk.

(1877 – 1956) U.S. vice president & politician
Alcohol People Situations

They were persecuted at the turn of the century by the U.S. government – that's right: Prohibition.

comedian, television writer
Alcohol Food/Drink People

One thing in which the sexes are equal is in thinking that they're not.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Intelligence Men People Women

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Fools Intelligence Mistakes People Problems

Bore: A person who deprives you with solitude without providing company.


Definitions People

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Eating Food/Drink People