Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
People
(Page 101)
Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions
Intelligence
Love
People
Women
Brains
The Bible says gays aren’t natural; what? … and a talking snake is?!
Russell Howard
(1980 – ) English comedian, television and radio presenter & actor
Beliefs
People
Bible
Gays
Homosexuals
Autobiography: An I-witness account
Anonymous
Books
Communication
Definitions
People
Self
Autobiography
When a man’s best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.
Edward Abbey
(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Age
Animals
Dogs
Friends
People
Relationships
Adherent: A follower who has not yet obtained all that he expects to get.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Adherent
I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere.
James Thurber
(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Children
People
Situations
Women
Control
Progress
White Supremacists: The most convincing argument against the theory of white racial superiority.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Definitions
Intelligence
People
White Supremacists
People seldom become famous for what they say until after they are famous for what they've done.
Cullen Hightower
(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer
People
Speech
Success
Accomplishments
Celebrity
A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics
People
Gentlemen
If I were a grave-digger, or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.
Douglas Jerrold
(1803 – 1857) English writer
Death
Insults
Occupations
People
Work
The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain.
Chinese proverb
Age
Proverbs
Women
Well, I screwed it up real good, didn't I?
Richard M. Nixon
(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president
Mistakes
People
Problems
Self
You have nooo idea… the difference in sex drive between a man and woman is like the difference between shooting a bullet and throwing it.
Larry Miller
(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist
Men
People
Sex
Women
Sex Drive
Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average drivers.
Grelb's Reminder
Beliefs
Driving
Murphy’s Laws
Opinion
People
If you find an Australian indoors, it’s a fair bet that he will have a glass in his hand.
Jonathan Aitken
(1942 – ) British politician
Food/Drink
People
Places
Australians
At all those banquets, stars get up and give credit to their coaches and parents; I give credit to no one; I made myself what I am today.
Bob Uecker
(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball
Self
Sports
Success
Career
All my life I’ve wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought.
Robert Brault
American writer
Intelligence
Self
I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating.
George W. Bush
(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Government
Intelligence
President
Self
Sooner or later, I'll be punctual.
Ashleigh Brilliant
(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Self
Time
Punctuality
Bore: A person who deprives you with solitude without providing company.
Gian Vincenza Gravina
Definitions
People
Bore
The trouble with Bogart is he thinks he's Bogart.
John Huston
(1906 – 1987) American movie director, producer & actor
People
Humphrey Bogart
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