Subject: People (Page 103)

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you; if he's not, why embarrass him by asking?

(1901 – 1970) American journalist & author
People Places

Indians are born with an instinct for riding, rowing, hunting, fishing, and swimming; Americans are born with an instinct for fooling around with machines.

(1908 – 1981) American dramatist & author
People

The other day a woman described me as a bit of a looker… well voyeur was the actual word she used, but there’s no need to split hairs is there?

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
People Self

When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky… a woman already knows.

Dating Men People Sex Women

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Girls People School Sex

Even paranoids have enemies.

Murphy’s Laws People

Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Characteristics People

A friend in need is a pest.

(1925 – ) English actor
Friends People TV/Movie Quotes

I couldn’t tell if the streaker was a man or a woman because it had a bag on its head.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
People Yogi-isms

Most minds are like concrete… all mixed up and permanently set!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Intelligence People

Imagine if the headless horseman had a headless horse… that would be chaos.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
People

Those with the best advice offer no advice.

Murphy’s Laws People

There are girls who manage to sell themselves, whom no one would take as gifts.

(1741 – 1794) French writer
Girls People Women

They say if the Swiss had designed these mountains… they’d be flatter.

(1941 – ) novelist
People Places

Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.

(1901 – 2000) English author
Men People Sex Women

I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet them.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication People Speech

I don’t like meals for one; it’s not that they make me feel lonely… it’s that they’re not big enough.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Food/Drink Self

You know, you can’t please all the people all the time… and last night, all those people were at my show.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Entertainment People

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself… and you are the easiest person to fool.

(1918 – 1988) American physicist
People Science/Weather Self

He may be a son of a bitch, but he’s our son of a bitch.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Government People

It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics People