Subject: People (Page 104)

It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.

(1863 – 1941) U.S. senator (California) & U.S. Secretary of the Treasury
Intelligence People Stupidity

Man is the only kind of varmint who sets his own trap, baits it, then steps on it.

(1902 – 1968) novelist
Accidents Animals People Problems

A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Clothing Money People Women

The female sex has no greater fan than I, and I have the bills to prove it.

(1918 – 1986) American lyricist
Money People Women

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible.

(1901 – 1978) anthropologist
Men People Women

Sorry, Peg, I didn’t hear you; I was thinking of killing myself.

(1946 – ) American actor
Self TV/Movie Quotes

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
People

Overall Bush's European trip has been an overwhelming success. Not once has he gotten separated from his group.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Intelligence People

Most of the men sitting in first class on an airplane have really boring jobs.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men People

Maybe that's all that family really is, a group of people who all miss the same imaginary place.

(1975 – ) actor, director, screenwriter & producer
Family Memory People Relationships

Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Occupations People Self Work

Never argue with a man who is shorter than his Oscar.

(1928 – 2009) American television writer, playwright, screenwriter & author
Entertainment Film People

[Asked if he believed in clubs for women, Fields responded] Yes, if every other form of persuasion fails.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
People Women

Women want to be treated as equals, not sequels.

(1958 – ) Australian author
People Women

If I wanted to be with people p**sing themselves and talking rubbish, I’d have a kid.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink People

All people are born alike – except Republicans and Democrats.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Government People Politicians

You might be a redneck if… you’ve ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister’s honor.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Relationships

A girl in the convertible is worth five in the phone book.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Autos People Things Women

My friend Winnie is a procrastinator…. he didn’t get his birthmark until he was eight years old.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics People Time

If you treat a girl like a dog, she’s going to piss on you.

(1964 – ) American singer-songwriter & musician
Dating Girls People Relationships

You might be a redneck if… your ironing board doubles as a buffet table.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things