Subject: People (Page 106)

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Body Mind People

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

(1917 – 1994) American writer
People Relationships

Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Beliefs People World

Hilary Clinton has shown that any woman can be president, as long as your husband did it first.

American comedian
Government People President

I have lost friends, some by death… others through sheer inability to cross the street.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Accidents Age Death Friends People

Censorship does not interfere with the constitutional rights of every American to sit alone in a dark room in the nude and cuss.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Law People

We have lived through the era when happiness was a warm puppy, and the era when happiness was a dry martini, and now we have come to the era when happiness is "knowing what your uterus looks like.”

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Appearance Body People Women

A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Food/Drink People

Vegetarian: A good salad citizen.

Food/Drink People

In every group of girlfriends, there’s that one who is the sluttiest; if you don’t have that friend, you’re that friend.

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Girlfriends People Sex

He may be a son of a bitch, but he’s our son of a bitch.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Government People

There are three kinds of men: the ones who learn by reading; the few who learn by observation; the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Intelligence People

You take 10 Jews at random and put 'em on a basketball court, you get a real estate seminar.

comedian
People

I look at my friendship with her as like having a gall stone; you deal with it, there is pain, and then you pass it.

(1955 – ) American comedian, singer, actress & author
Insults People

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Beliefs People Understanding

Real men don’t use instructions, son; besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Men TV/Movie Quotes

We have a strange and wonderful relationship – he's strange and I'm wonderful.

(1939 – ) American football player & coach
People

Bureaucrat: A person who cuts red tape sideways. 

Government People

Nothing annoys a woman more than to have company drop in unexpectedly and find the house looking as it usually does.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Housework People Situations

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Emotions Entertainment Film People Work

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Emotions Happiness People