Subject: People (Page 107)

Never argue with a man who is shorter than his Oscar.

(1928 – 2009) American television writer, playwright, screenwriter & author
Entertainment Film People

If a woman likes another woman, she's cordial; if she doesn't like her, she's very cordial.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
People Women

You might be a redneck if… you think the winter Olympic sport of curling is part of the “Big Hair” competition.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Hair People Rednecks

The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
People Places Travel

Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage and those who manage what they do not understand.

Murphy’s Laws People Science/Weather

Half the people you know are below average.

Characteristics People

In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level, the greater the confusion.

Murphy’s Laws People

Sometimes people come up to me and they'll be like, 'In Italy, it's pronounced 'Bir-Bee-Lya’ … and I'm like, 'In America, you're annoying.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Communication Language People Self

There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
People Women

It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Beliefs People Religion

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

(1956 – ) author & movie actress
Age Appearance Body Old People

Now there's a man with an open mind – you can feel the breeze from here!

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Individuals Insults Intelligence

Women aren't as mere as they used to be.

(1913 – 1973) American animator & cartoonist (Pogo)
People Women

There are three terrible ages of childhood – 1 to 10, 10 to 20, and 20 to 30.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist
Age People Young

Women are absolutely equal; they just can't quite lift as much.

(1953 – ) American singer, songwriter, actor, author & radio personality
Men People Women

If an unmarried woman loses her equilibrium, she should try to fall on a millionaire.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
People Relationships Women

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible.

(1901 – 1978) anthropologist
Men People Women

Employees in a hierarchy do not really object to incompetence in their colleagues.

Murphy’s Laws People

You know how growing up we all had that voice inside our head that tells us we’re not good enough? Well, mine was outside my head driving me to school.

(1970 – ) American actress
Family Mothers People Self TV/Movie Quotes

Everyone should have to wait tables for one year of their lives, so they realize their ranch dressing isn’t that fucking important.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Life Occupations People Work

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Autos People Things Women